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Cheers - AE

Friday, 19 June 2009

PETA - Pilkington taste testers.

PETA, the people who I once described at Mummy Long Legs' place as Pilkington taste testers for calling fish 'sea kittens', are at it again. At the time Mummy was commenting on the self righteous twats protesting outside the restaurant of, er, well, another self righteous twat if I'm honest.
Members of Peta stood outside the chef’s Italian restaurant holding placards with the words: “Be Pukka to Pigs: Go Vegetarian” on Monday. I do wish Peta would fuck off. For that matter I wish Jamie Oliver would too. But in this case I have to side with him. Jamie does a show that highlights the crap conditions that pigs are reared in on the continent. He then sources his pork from British farms, that have to uphold a much higher standard of care for their pigs. Still not perfect but hey ho. So who do Peta pick on, the guy that is fighting the same cause as them. Thick Fucks, every last one of them.
Which in turn prompted me to write in the comments:
PETA are just another bunch of bastards who get a warm fuzzy at the thought of dictating how other people live. I think of them as being a bit like ALF’s Sinn Fein. Not quite as obscene as Sinn Fein were in the 70s and 80s obviously, but similar in that their role is to create legal publicity for ‘the cause’ and leave the blackmail, letter bombs, releasing mink into the countryside to kill lots of wild animals (ooops – stupid cunts). And what a bunch of hypocritical bastards PETA are? How the fuck they can stand there claiming that the E in PETA stands for ethical without every fucking bible for hundreds of miles around exploding is fucking beyond me and just proves that God is either non-existent or works some kind of celestial office hours and Monday morning isn’t for another forty thousand years. Look for the PETA episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! on YouTube. It’ll make you angry enough to want to pelt those two self righteous bitches outside Fifteen with kidneys and black pudding, and then to really upset them by going inside for a plate of tiger steaks garnished with panda bollocks. Not like the pandas are using them or anything, is it?

No, fuck you, silly PETA ladies with no clothes on. I’ll keep my pets and care for them as if they were the children we never had, and I’ll eat meat when I want and I’ll decide for myself what’s ethical and what I can’t quite live with (veal and fois gras, though I loved the taste). And you know what else? If I feel like it I’ll go out into the bush with a ute and a gun and I’ll shoot Skippy in the face, brush him lightly with olive oil and pop him under a medium grill, 2-3 minutes each side, serve with a nice salad. G’day Skip… what’s that, mate… medium to rare? … BLAM Want to argue silly PETA ladies? I’m prepared not to shoot Skippy if I can try vegetarian. Organically reared and Quorn fed of course.
And now the PETA pricks are off again, though it's close it's not quite as daft as the sea kittens, I'll give 'em that. They're upset because the Obamessiah swatted a fly at a press conference, and his holy touch killed a fly instead of raising it from... er, well of course it wasn't actually dead but you get the picture.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the flyswatter in chief to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House.
"We support compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals," PETA spokesman Bruce Friedrich said Wednesday.
Hazel Blears has more support than I thought.
"We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals."
It's a fucking fly for Christ's sake. I wonder if you'd feel compassion if a shark was chewing your leg off, or whether you'd use any means at your disposal to kill or drive the thing off*. I doubt even PETA types are willing to lie there passively while yelling how much they love the thing chewing them to pieces. And if a large dangerous animal how about a very small one? And if a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy, then where do disease vectors and pests fit in? Or the bacterial genocide we each commit in the shower every morning? And am I the first to wonder if PETA members and ethical vegans like Paul McCartney would stick to their principles on a desert island with nothing edible but 25,000 flightless birds and a shipping container of Paxo? Given that it's human nature to try to survive and also that even PETA's Vice President is happy to use animal products when they're in insulin for controlling her diabetes I think we know the answer to that one.

Anyway, back to flies and sharks, here's what I suggest. I imagine PETA would say of someone being eaten by a shark that they had entered the shark's environment voluntarily and shit happens. Fair enough, and I even tend to agree. So who forced the fly into the environs of the Obamessiah? Sorry fly, shit happens.

H/T Shibby.

UPDATE: NickM at Counting Cats weighs in with his opinion of the BBC's coverage of The One, particularly their laughable and unjustified adulation:
On a not entirely unrelated note I had BBC News24 on in the background a few days ago whilst every fifteen minutes they showed The One swat a fly. The presenters were amused and adulating (he can swat a fly! Think what he’ll do to Al Quaeda!). As this was going on there was all hell breaking out in Iran and quite correctly that got no mention. It’s times like that I feel the license fee is such brilliant value for money because only the BBC (due to the unique way it’s funded) could show such editorial acuity and bring us the news that really mattered. Yup, there are times when “man swats fly” is so much more important than “hundreds of thousands demonstrate against a corrupt theocracy” and this was such a time. Children as yet unborn shall always remember where they were when The One slew the vile Musca domesticus with his bare hands and the sideshow in Tehran will be a mere footnote to His divine progress. Next week He shall perform the miracle of removing the quite large spider from the bath with an empty jar and a piece of card. And great shall be the rejoicing of Michelle and it shall ring out unto every nation!

For He has come amongst us and verily He canst deal with minor bug annoyances!

*Which I admit might well amount to stuff all.
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