The Angry Exile: Kirklees council again.

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Friday 26 June 2009

Kirklees council again.

The people who brought you What Not To Wear (Deceased Edition) are now making a job offer you can't understand.

The ideal candidate must have "cross-functional experience" and play a "key role in ensuring the effective integration of national, regional and local drivers", the Kirklees Council advert states.
It continues: "The new director of organisation development will face a number of challenges, including making sure: That the diversity of Kirklees is understood by all in the organisation; is valued as a strength but a strength that challenges us to respond to its complex implications; and is reflected in the career structures within the organisation."

It's for £119,000 by the way, and if what they're asking for made sense then you're either worth every penny or as mad as they are.

Cliff Stewart, human resources director at the council, justified the language used in the advert.
He said: "The terms used in the advert will mean a lot to the sort of people who are looking at this."

Really? Then why did you change the wording then? Because The Yorkshire Post has the story too, and they've helpfully provided a link to the advert. It now reads:

"Exceptional professional required to place communities at the heart of our services"

This newly created position brings together responsibilities for organisation development and corporate governance across the council and its delivery partnerships. It is a key leadership role that will help make a complex organisation increasingly confident, energetic and focussed as it delivers the outcomes that the Kirklees communities require.

One of the key challenges of this role is to deliver these outcomes in ways that gain the maximum impact from the resources available over the next five years.

You will play a key role in ensuring the effective integration of national, regional and local drivers. You will lead the development of partnerships and take responsibility for our change, innovation and communication programmes. You will also have responsibility for a broad range of corporate services.

If you are a leader with presence, passion and panache with experience across a range of these responsibilities, and if you are enthusiastic about this opportunity to join a top quality and ambitious leadership team, then let's talk.

Currently the make-up of the Council's management team does not reflect the diversity of the citizens of Kirklees with certain groups under-represented. We would welcome applications from all individuals, but in particular, we would welcome applications which will help us address this under-representation.

So what happened to the all important need for cross functional experience then? What about the challenge of making sure that the diversity of Kirklees is understood by all, and that it's not just valued as a strength but also one that challenges... er, hang on, challenge to make the diversity understood as a strength which comes with challenges or something, wasn't it? Whatever, Kirklees Council, it seems that you responded to the criticism by robustly defending of the wording followed by quietly changing it. Have the courage of your convictions you worthless bastards! And learn to fucking write, because the edited version is still a load of PC bollocks. You still aren't making clear what the fuck a Director Of Organisation Development is or what the person in this newly created position is supposed to do all day. Other than soak up over a hundred grand from council tax revenue of course. Yes, I read the bullshit job description but what exactly are the duties? Who does the DoOD dude (ha!) report to? Who reports to the DoOD? Apart from something vague about drivers (glorified fleet manager?) there's fuck all real information there, just a load of padding. Frankly it looks like the sort of vague bullshit I'd use at school to put in essays on stuff I wasn't remotely interested in.

An alternative option for this recently Conservative controlled (and therefore in my opinion inclined to spunk away tax money on shite) and now Liberal/Labour coalition run (and therefore in my opinion also inclined to spunk away tax money on shite) council would have been to knock a quid or two off everybody's council tax, and since this is a newly created Director position there's an implication that the spendthrift cunts have in fact created a whole new fucking department for it. If so then there's probably much more than a couple of quid to be saved.