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Sunday, 4 October 2009

Not the sharpest knives in the drawer.

Mainly because they're not knives at all, but teaspoons.
A shopper was asked for proof of age when she tried to buy a packet of teaspoons from a supermarket.
Emma Sheppard was forbidden to buy the cutlery unless she showed identification to a shop assistant at her local Tesco.
Till operators at the store in Evesham, Worcs, wouldn't sell the pack of five teaspoons on Monday night as part of their 'Think 25' scheme, which demands ID from people who look under 25 when buying certain goods.
Jesus fucking Strictly Come Dancing Christ, it was a packet of fucking teaspoons, not a fucking chainsaw. Just teaspoons, right? Fucking teaspoons. And when the age restrictions, pointless and illiberal as they are, are largely for under 18s what the cunting fuck do those nanny state fellating sycophants at Tesco think they're fucking doing demanding ID from people who have passed that age several years before. Let's be be clear about this, on your 25th birthday being 17 is behind you by more than a quarter of your life so far. So Tesco's revolting scheme could more accurately be called 'We Didn't Fucking Think 25'.
Emma, a housewife, said: 'When the assistant asked me for ID I thought John had sneakily put some booze in the trolley...
And if he had it should be fuck all to do with Tesco beyond being pathetically grateful for the business. Even if he's got a baby face Ms Sheppard, who's pictured in the paper, looks old enough to be given the benefit of doubt, though of course the witless twats have refused to sell alcohol to people who have people with them who don't also have ID or look old enough, just in case it's being bought for someone else. However, it's not grog in this case but those potentially lethal teaspoons.
... but then when she held up a pack of spoons we looked at her like she was an idiot.
Which she clearly was.
'I didn't have my ID on me as I was only doing my weekly food shop and was not buying any alcohol. We couldn't get the spoons in the end, and I rather angrily threw my shopping in the trolley, breaking my eggs.'
I'd have fucking left it where it was and walked out.
A Tesco spokesperson said: 'Some utensils, such as knifes, will carry a 'Think 25' alert when scanned through the checkout. There is an element of common sense involved and this was a mistake, for which we are sorry.'
There we go, then. All fixed now. Tesco's corporate gob is firmly wrapped around the base of the nanny state's cock, and despite their being spit roasted by the part of the state responsible for planning arse fucking them if they dare to be too successful they're going to stick with treating people like retards. Look, Tesco, we all know you pay shit wages and get the occasional employee who isn't even as sharp as the teaspoons they refuse to sell people, but wouldn't it just be a lot easier to stop being cunts? It's not doing you any favours with the government anyway, so why don't you spit it out and suggest that enforcing the state's fuckwitted authoritarian rules isn't a job for private enterprise.

5 comments:

JuliaM said...

"We couldn't get the spoons in the end..."

What? They didn't call the manager? They actually left it at arguing with the scannerslut?

I'd have walked out of Tesco's with those spoons, or with the checkout girl's/managers still beating heart!

It's because people back down so easily that these stores get away with such rubbish...

Anonymous said...

Have to say I agree with JuliaM - unless people keep challenging these stupid rules more & more of them will be put in place - just because they can.
Alternatively, I'd have let the rest of the shopping be scanned though - and then walked away leaving it all behind.

Fausty said...

Enough to make you weep. What a wimp.

Sainsburys is crap anyway. I boycot them on a matter of that principle alone.

People are so cowed! At the very least, I'd've held up the spoons to the crowd at the checkout and told 'em where to stick 'em!

Anonymous said...

I have another story from that very same branch of Tescos that I was told recently.

It seems that a pensioner was there with her granddaughter to help her with the shop, and when they got to the till was told that the granddaughter would have to produce ID as there was some booze in the trolly. So far so bad. But when the woman tried to challenge this (the granddaughter was over 18, but had no ID with her) the staff threatened to BAN her for 24 hours for making a fuss, and apparently showed her a list of all the people that had been similarly banned.

Unsurprisingly, she will no longer shop there.

Angry Exile said...

Anon, I've also heard of that happening in Tesco and other UK supermarkets. I just can't understand why they think that they're not pising off their own customers treating them this way.

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