The Angry Exile: A hybrid I might actually want.

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Saturday, 12 February 2011

A hybrid I might actually want.

Over at Counting Cats NickM makes a few favourable remarks about VW's super efficient concept hybrid.

I think it looks cool. It’s got scissor doors which aren’t just cool but in a British car park very useful. It’s kinda like cars of the future were supposed to look.

Sadly I expect it'll sound like cars of the future always seem to sound in the movies: "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmzhwmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." This is cool if you have a Vangelis sound track coming straight out of the sky but is going to sound a bit wank in the Dartford tunnel. This, on the other hand, is a car I could possibly overcome my dislike of hybrids and my indifference towards Porsches for.

A V8? Oh, yesyesyesyesyes. We liiiike. We waaaant. Can't happen? Well look at this taxi:

I'm not going south of the central plasma conduit this time of night.

It's from the Stallone Judge Dredd movie and it was created by extensively modifying a Land Rover 101 Forward Control. Which had a 3.5 litre V8.

I have seen the future and the future is good. Good and loud!

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Bucko · 736 weeks ago

It aint no Ford Capri
My recent post Friday night Moose music The evening session

1 reply · active 736 weeks ago

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Angry_Exile 90p · 736 weeks ago

It occurred to me afterwards that this isn't the sort of car that, say, a Moose would be able to fix and maintain on his driveway. Goes for all hybrids really. I looked under the bonnet of one once and it was plastered with the kind of warning signs you usually see at electricity substations. Still, if they want people to look at hybrids with real desire instead of a pompous self-righteousness about the planet making some that 10 year old boys will want posters of is the way to go about it.

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microdave 58p · 736 weeks ago

You might want to pop back to Counting Cats, and look at the alternative version of the VW that I found elsewhere. It actually looks a damn sight better than the original.

1 reply · active 736 weeks ago

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Angry_Exile 90p · 736 weeks ago

Better, and a little reminiscent of the old Pug 406 coupé. But it wasn't about the looks so much as the image. The VW promises a future that is depressingly parsimonious. The Porker holds out the hope of a future worth living in. The Dub is the school swot that knows all the answers and may, if asked nicely, help you with your homework. The Porsche is the gorgeous and slightly slutty girl the year ahead of you to whom you hope to lose your virginity. Put another way, which one would you want added to a deck of Top Trumps?

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microdave 58p · 736 weeks ago

Actually I've often hankered after a "Q" car - ie something very innocuous on the outside, but with a monster engine and 4WD to put it to good use. Just the job to go baiting BMW drivers.....

1 reply · active 736 weeks ago

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Angry_Exile 90p · 736 weeks ago

Interesting idea. Something that looks like a school runner but could make mincemeat out of the modded up and chipped hot hatches with massively distorted bass pounding out of them. You wouldn't have to show 'em often but you'd always know how easily you could show them dust. But actually something that's obviously eye-bleedingly fast is even better, because then they'd always know as well. I was in a mate's Porker once and some GiT with Max Power stickers pulled alongside at the lights. My mate looked at him and gunned a couple of times to get young Mr Power to rev up for a race, and then as the lights changed gave him a polite 'after you' signal and a big grin. The kid went up the road knowing that the only reason he got in front was because he'd been allowed. Quality mindfuck! I laughed all day.

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