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Cheers - AE

Sunday 13 December 2009

Won't somebody think of the chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllldren?

Dick Puddlecote is wound up about another smoking story, and with good cause because this one comes with extra stupid. Lily Allen and Lady Gaga have each smoked on stage [gasp sharply..... and then cough theatrically]. This caused one alleged Lily Allen fan* to say that it ruined the night for him and his 17 and 15 year old kids, which in turn caused Dick Puddlecote to say:
When questioned further, Mr Hall said that references to spending ages giving head, post-coital wet patches, and fucking the girl next door were fine for his little darlings, but this was just too much.

Mr Hall, born in the smoke-filled 50s but seemingly still quite healthy, was last seen disappearing up his own gullible, self-righteous arse.

Quite. I'd like to say something approving about Lily Allen at this point but since I reckon she was probably only able to light up at all by temporarily removing her own head from her self-righteous arse I think I'll give it a miss. Personally I'd be pissed off if she came into my home and lit up. For that matter I'd be pissed off if she came in to my home and just stood there, but the owner of a property gets to set the rules and if, as is almost guaranteed these days, the owners of the concert venue where Lily Allen attempted mass murder by ciggie smoke had already banned smoking before the government blanket ban she wasn't rebelling so much as just being rude. However, that's between them and her, not whiny pricks like Mr Hall. Fuck the pair of 'em, but especially him.


Fuck you all. Fuck you right in the lungs.

Still, the increasing hysteria about smoking and the way people are likely to treat a bit of fag smoke as equivalent to being violently bottled in the face is really starting to piss me off. For one thing it's tempting me to go down the shops for a pack of Bensons just as a 'fuck you' message, but I've now been an ex-smoker long enough to have grown to dislike fag smoke and ashtrays. So do you know what I do about it, and I'm asking this of wankers like Mr Hall? Let me give you an example. Couple of days ago I was talking to a smoker who lit one up up, so I took a small step backwards and we carried on talking as before. No theatrical coughing or being a cunt because even though I've grown to dislike the smell of the smoke a few inches of extra space was all that was necessary. I doubt he even noticed, or if he did thought I was just slouching against the wall for a bit (and also I did genuinely want to slouch against the wall for a bit too).

I realise I'm doing this all wrong because as an ex-smoker I'm expected to be a pompous, twatty, crusading, anti-smoking zealot who wants to impose his will on others but I just can't get worked up enough about my new dislike for the smell of smoke and ashtrays to want to become a bossy cunt. Don't smoke in my home but beyond that I don't care. Smoke, or do not smoke, and if I have a problem rest assured that I'll deal with it simply by moving away from the smoke without whining to anyone about it. It's not like smoke is equivalent to actual violence or anything, is it?
[Avatar is] rated PG-13 for intense epic battle sequences and warfare, sensuality, language and some smoking.
Oh, for fuck's sake.

* I'm not saying he isn't a Lily Allen fan as well as his kids, but since he's 52 I wouldn't be shocked if he suggested getting tickets to see that Alan Lillee bloke and wondering if he's related to Dennis.

3 comments:

Dick Puddlecote said...

Ta for the link, and good point on the rudeness.

Mrs P was watching an episode of 'Come Dine With Me' tonight where a guy lit up around the table, in someone else's house, without asking. I find that extremely rude myself & the reaction of those present I can entirely relate to.

The difference with Allen is that the venue were told by government that they weren't allowed to dictate their own policy and that there was only one they can follow or else they will be fined £2,500. I'd say she wasn't being rude to the venue as Paul Weller, Oasis, The Stones, and a few others have got away with it before. As probably will Allen. She was being rude to the people who imposed such a laughable law.

In the 'dine with me' case, there was no possibility of financial censure, only the collective will of those who were present to decide the rude actions of the person who lit up. The prevailing mood was that he should have asked beforehand and that they could have agreed, or asked him to move to a different room. No mention of him going outsise, note.

That's common sense, as you mention in your post.

People like Mr Hall (52), however, have been so willingly brainwashed by a combination of confirmation bias and selfishness, that they are an easy rent-a-gob for a local paper, despite his protestations not meeting basic logical criteria. All those people there and he is the only hypocritical fucktard they could find.

Something is very whiffy about the reasoning for such bans if that's the best that a local newshound can do.

Just read that back and it seems confrontational. You know full well it's not meant to be. :-)

Dick Puddlecote said...

Oh yeah, forgot to add. There is an 'artistic licence' exemption for the smoking ban.

Apparently, you are killing people by lighting up if you are Lily Allen and the others mentioned, but not if you're an actor portraying Winston Churchill.

It's all a bit silly, really. ;-)

Angry Exile said...

The difference with Allen is that the venue were told by government that they weren't allowed to dictate their own policy and that there was only one they can follow or else they will be fined £2,500. I'd say she wasn't being rude to the venue as Paul Weller, Oasis, The Stones, and a few others have got away with it before. As probably will Allen. She was being rude to the people who imposed such a laughable law.

Yeah, I certainly don't argue with much of that except that so many places were non-smoking per the owners even before the ban came along that I'd expect most concert venues were already smoke free zones. In such places the government imposed smoking rules did fuck all except impose a financial penalty on the owners if they failed to enforce a policy they'd put in for reasons of their own years before. If Lily Allen was giving a 'fuck you' to the government by lighting up and the venue was already non-smoking pre-ban then it was also a 'fuck you' at the owners. I suspect it actually wasn't a 'fuck you' to anyone at all but all just because she wanted a smoke - sometimes the correct answer is the obvious one, eh? Should she have ignored the government imposed rules? As far as I'm concerned yeah, because I don't think they have any fucking right to rule on what happens on private property bar actual criminal acts. Should she have respected the wishes of the building's owners if they wanted nobody smoking anyway? Again, yeah.

I didn't know about the artistic licence thing. I'd heard that people wanted it but having heard nothing since I'd assumed the gauleiters told them to fuck off. So, what would happen if you were to put on a play in which all the characters smoked at various points and every member of the audience was given a role? Come and fine us then ya spunk munchers, it's art! Sneh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

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