SANTA Claus last night condemned ginger haired children, insisting they freak him out and will never be welcome at the North Pole.Poor love. I imagine she so desperately wanted the victim status enjoyed by all these other professional and semi-professional offence takers, and all she achieved was to reinforce the ginger whinger stereotype in the minds of millions.
Santa issued an angry statement after it emerged the supermarket chain Tesco was selling Christmas cards claiming he regarded ginger children as being equal to other kinds of children.
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But Davinia Phillips, a mother of three gingers from York, has complained to Tesco insisting the card contravenes her right to have everything exactly the way she wants it all the time and to never be annoyed by anything.
TDM have it just right, Davinia. You can't have everything exactly the way you want and never be offended by anything ever. And if you were worried about your kids being picked on in school what do you think will happen now that that you've opened your gob?
UPDATE: Also in the Mash, 'Chief Medical Officer Talking Shit Again'.
In his first outburst since talking shit about swine flu, Sir Liam said middle class people in Britain are spending up to 70 hours a week devising new methods for getting wine into their children.
He said: "Working class people who drink all day and make no attempt to raise their children are obviously not the problem. It's the middle-classes and their obsession with trying to understand how their children think and feel while slipping some Muscadet into a big jug of Ribena."
Sir Liam said there was evidence middle-class children will grow up to have wine with their meals, plus a few gin and tonics or a couple of bottles of real ale, especially at the weekend.
"If the middle class continue with this obsession, our country will be filled with reasonably well educated, well mannered people who are gently pissed most of the time."
He added: "What evidence? I'm the chief fucking medical officer, that's what evidence."