Conroy plans speed humps for Australia's freeways.

From a Sydney Morning Herald blog.

In an ambitious plan to protect Australia's children, Communications Minister Stephen Conroy has announced plans to install speed humps every 100 metres on all Australian freeways.

After a 12 month trial of speed humps in several suburban back streets, Senator Conroy says he is confident that placing speed humps on every Australian freeway will reduce accidents by 100 percent with a "negligible" impact on traffic congestion and travel times.

"Australia's roads are a dangerous place for children, so the Rudd government is doing everything it can to protect people," says Senator Conroy. "A vocal minority of drivers may object to the plan, but the moral majority can see that it's the right thing to do. Anyone who objects to the mandatory speed hump plan obviously hates children".

Senator Conroy also released a traffic management report which appears to support his claims of reducing accidents by 100 percent with a "negligible" impact on traffic congestion. Unfortunately the report was only conducted in suburban back streets. The report concedes that once mandatory speed humps are applied to 100 kph freeways, one in five accidents will still occur. The report also concedes that dangerous drivers who are most likely to speed will easily find ways around the speed humps.

The wording of the mandatory speed hump plan leaves scope for it to be expanded beyond the freeways, although there are few details available. Senator Conroy claims the plan will only be applied to areas which have been "refused classification". Supporters of the speed hump plan have already called for it to be expanded to include roads outside casinos, gay bars, adult book stores and some medical clinics.

Traffic management specialists, transport groups, car manufacturers, road builders and motoring associations have all condemned the mandatory speed hump plan as flawed, unworkable, easily bypassed, politically motivated and open to abuse.

Senator Conroy's heart may be in the right place, but he clearly has "no understanding of how roads work," says Australian Motoring Association spokeswoman Shirley Knott.

"The mandatory speed hump plan will strangle the road network for the entire country, while doing little to stop people who are doing the wrong thing. Rather than waste millions of dollars on a project that will cripple our transport system while not actually achieving its goals, we recommend the government listen to the traffic management specialists and invest the money in education campaigns and better policing," says Ms Knott.

"Of more concern than traffic jams is that the mandatory speed hump plan is veiled in secrecy and open to abuse. Who is to say how future governments may manipulate traffic management to block off streets that it doesn't want the public to see? An open and transparent road system is a cornerstone of democracy, and we don't want to see Australia sliding down the slippery slope towards a police state where the government controls everywhere we go and everything we see."

For more details of opposition to the mandatory speed hump plan, visit nocleanfeed.com.

Nice analogy only slightly spoiled by one commenter apparently thinking it was meant literally. Still, one face/palm moment doesn't make the guy so childish and in need of looking after to require the whole fucking web to be censored for him, and in fairness Conroy seems so keen on this ludicrous attempt to control the net that putting speed humps on the fucking freeway is arguably only just outside the realms of possibility.