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Cheers - AE

Friday, 21 January 2011

Be honest, what did you want it to say?

Via the Grim Reaper I see that parts of the MSM are currently working themselves into a froth over an allegedly foul mouthed purple puppy. Here's the vid:

Sounds like 'bark with me,' I'd say, thought now and again it sounds a little like 'buck'. But the only 'f' sound I can make out is in the word 'if'.

And here's the offended mum, in orgiastic paroxysms over her fifteen minutes of fame. Oh, sorry, I mean full righteously indignant flow at this terribly offensive toy.
The cuddly puppy, which was bought by mum Leigh McPherson from Asda to help her daughter Mia learn to speak, sings songs when you squeeze its paw.
However, Ms McPherson was left stunned when the creature turned the air blue with what sounded like barrack-room language.
It sang: ‘If you’re happy and you know it f*** with me.’
The 20-year-old single mum from Banbury, Oxfordshire, told The Sun: 'I couldn't believe it.
'I played it back three or four times.
'There is no mistaking what Violet is saying.'
If you think it was saying 'fuck with me' followed by what's pretty clearly a barking noise than I must disagree - clearly it is easy to mistake what it's saying. Come on, just think about it for a minute. If you'd heard what you thought you heard then that would mean that a company that makes products for children got what might be an an adult voice artist but might also be a child to sing a song with the word 'fuck' in it (and jammed into the sentence rather oddly, I feel - you might be happy to fuck someone but anyone who's seen Goodfellas, The Sopranos etc. probably won't associate fucking with someone with happiness) followed for no explicable reason by the sounds of a barking dog.

Alternatively we could choose the manufacturers version of the lyrics:
The manufacturer has claimed that the hound is actually saying ‘bark’...
See? 'If you're happy and you know it bark with me, bark bark' makes sense, especially on a toy, while 'If you're happy and you know it fuck with me, bark bark' sounds as nonsensical as, say, 'Little Miss Muff Tits sat on a tough shit eating her turds and gays, banana banana.'

I feel what's happened is that sadly Ms McPherson has caught a case of offenceseekingitis, a symptom of which is that sometimes sufferers hear just what they want to hear. Perhaps she should avoid toys and get a pet instead. I hear parrots are a good choice.

Or maybe not.
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