The Angry Exile: Tory morons.

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Wednesday 20 May 2009

Tory morons.

If David Cameron is the brightest in the Tory party then they really are fucked (as is Britain given that they're likely to be the next government). But he's the one saying that local Conservative Associations should be thinking about deselecting troughing MPs, or at least the worst offenders, and the local Conservative Associations are saying they're more or less happy with their MPs.

But one day after Mr Cameron told local parties that they should deselect MPs they regard as unsuitable, only one ... local party contacted failed to express support for its MP. Heather Burwin, the chairman of Totnes Conservative Association, whose MP is Antony Steen, said that a decision on his future would be taken on Friday.

The article mentions rumours about deselecting, but that's as far as it goes. So not even one CA has positively come out and said that their MP is a troughing cunt and that they're going to bin the bastard in favour of someone who'll hopefully have a little more respect for taxpayers' money as well as being less of an electoral embarrassment. You can't count Douglas Hogg's CA since he's already agreed to fall on his sword or jump in his moat or whatever.

More typical was Vivienne Chapman, the deputy chairman of Surrey Heath Conservatives, Michael Gove’s constituency. Mr Gove has been forced to repay more than £7,000 that he spent furnishing his house in north Kensington.

Ms Chapman said: “Michael is an extremely hard worker in this constituency and very well regarded by the constituents. He’s one of those people with the highest integrity and honesty. I think he was the first MP to hold a public meeting and people felt that he had given honest answers.”

I expect UKIP are nursing semis if Surrey ~~Thief~~ Heath Conservatives are anything to go by. And just down the road...

In Bracknell, where Andrew MacKay was forced to resign as Mr Cameron’s Commons aide over his second homes claims, the local association said that as far as deselection was concerned “nothing could be farther” from their minds.

Mary Ballin, Mr MacKay’s agent, said: “He has been an outstanding MP over the last 26 years and the association and his constituents know it.”

You daft fucks, I am one of his constituents* and I don't call ripping off the taxpayers' hard earned anything remotely fucking near to outstanding performance as an MP. Never mind deselection, fucking defenestration should be on the agenda.

Christian Mitchell, the chairman of Horsham Conservative Association, told The Times that activists were “right behind” Francis Maude, who claimed almost £35,000 in two years for mortgage interest payments on a London flat when he owned a house just a few hundred yards away.

“Francis had already given an explanation of it to the association, which we had heard and accepted.”

I'd love to have been a fly on the wall at that meeting. How the fuck can anyone plausibly explain the need for the taxpayer to shell out for a flat when the shit munching dog cock already had a fucking house nearby? Mr Mitchell must now be the top target in Sussex for any emails telling him he's won non-existent lotteries that he's never heard of, much less entered.

David Davis, a former Shadow Home Secretary, spent more than £10,000 of taxpayers’ money on home improvements in four years, including a £5,700 portico at his home in Yorkshire. Yesterday his local Conservative association chairman, Helen Gilmour, said that “not a single person has been in touch” regarding Mr Davis’s expenses. “We have no problems whatsover with Mr Davis.”

Has it occurred to you that while you may not have a problem the voters of your constituency might? After all David Davies has not that long ago been re-elected after he triggered a by-election on civil liberties issues, and since it now turns out that he may be more interested in taking liberties with his expenses some of his constituents might wonder if they made a mistake in re-electing him.

I don't doubt that the same thing is being repeated all over the country though it probably won't trouble them too much in the safe Tory seats, which is most of the seats they actually have these days. But if it shows anything at all it shows that the Tories can be just as fucking stupid and resistant to much needed reform at grassroots level. Why are people like this?

UPDATE: Not just Tory morons I see, but Margaret ~~Moron~~ Moran's local morons are supporting her too. This could be good for Esther Rantzen if she does decide to challenge for Luton South(ampton) in the next election.

*Okay, being as I'm an ex-pat this is a technicality but I can still vote in his constituency and no, MacKay can't count on my vote. I'd have voted for someone else anyway but if I'd been inclined to vote Tory I'd be wondering why the fuck I bothered to fill in the overseas vote registration in the first place.