Is Nick Clegg on something?

Or has he just stepped off a spaceship from the planet Whut?

The Deputy Prime Minister cast doubt on the future for nuclear power by predicting that a review into existing plants – ordered after the explosion at the Fukushima power station — would recommend higher and more costly safety standards.

Or maybe it's me finding myself on the planet Whut? having just been kidnapped from Earth. Seriously, what the fucking fuck is going on? Britain is a country noted for a lack of tsunamis and for being, tectonically speaking, as active as an 20 stone dole-monkey with a plasma TV. Why does Cleggy think higher safety standards will be recommended and who the fuck even ordered a fucking review, which will no doubt cost a metric shit-tonne of money, in the first place?

And why? Has anything happened at a British nuclear power station to warrant a review into safety standards? No. So this is because nuclear power is suddenly newsworthy, and... er... that's about it. Fuck's sake, guys. Either there's been a sensible reason all along, in which case you were all sitting on your hands all this time, or this is a pointless knee jerk reaction to an event half a world away that is virtually guaranteed not to happen in the UK. And even if it did, as in Japan the damage and death wrought by a 9 magnitude earthquake and a series of 30 foot waves slamming coastal towns would make the reactor problems pale into insignificance were it not for the rampant and infectious nuclearphobia in parts of the media and politics.

Christ, would you scrap high speed rail because the earthquake wrecked a few bullet trains? Would you even consider looking into it? No, of course you wouldn't because that would be, to use a technical term, fucking stupid. So what's different about nuclear power apart from the dreaded n-word? Stop this incredibly wasteful fear-mongering masturbatathon and start dealing with the fact that as things stand now in a few years Britain is going to become increasingly dependent on foreign energy supplies plus a relative trickle from vast stands of giant bird mincers and some solar panels struggling to cope with the high latitudes of most of the country.

On the other hand Britain probably needed to start building new reactors several years ago, and when everybody is freezing in the dark the current mob of hand wringing wankers won't be the only ones to blame.