The Angry Exile: When did Australia turn into America?

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Wednesday 21 September 2011

When did Australia turn into America?

Not having a dig at our American cousins here, but I've always felt flag veneration is more their thing what with their national anthem being about it and with every other person you meet prepared to tell you that it's illegal to set fire to it (which apparently it isn't). Maybe some of my fellow Brits feel much the same for the Union Jack, especially those who know it's real name is the Union Flag, but here in Oz most people I've come across seem much less attached to the Australian Flag. There are those republican types who dislike the constant reminder of Britain's influence provided by the Union Flag in the top left quarter, and there are those who say that it doesn't represent the aborigines and Torres Strait islanders who were here first. There are those who think the Southern Cross bit has been hijacked by bogans anyway. And there are those to whom it's just the flag and apart from maybe waving one on Australia Day or watching it being lowered to half mast on ANZAC Day they probably don't think about it often.*

I didn't realise there were a group that venerated it in a similar fashion to the Americans and 'Old Glory' or that this group was more commonly known as opposition MPs, but apparently it's so because they're angry about a scene in an ABC satirical comedy called At Home With Julia, featuring Julia Gillard impersonator Amanda Bishop (you've seen her on this blog before). In this scene, to be broadcast this evening unless the ABC have chickened out and pulled it, Bishop's Julia Gillard dances the horizontal tango with the First Bloke, Tim Mathieson, as played by Phil Lloyd. On the floor of the Prime Minister's office. Under a duvet sized Australian flag. And the Liberal Party and their allies have gone apeshit.

COALITION MPs have attacked a controversial TV satire on Julia Gillard as demeaning and suggested ABC funding should be reviewed.
[...]
Liberal MP Teresa Gambaro also expressed disgust with At Home with Julia, suggesting to the party room that the national broadcaster's funding should be reviewed.

I'd agree, but not for that reason. Where I'm from many people complain about the TV licence forcing people who don't watch BBC programmes to pay for the BBC anyway, but since it's funded out of general taxation people pay for the ABC even if they haven't got a television. Review away, but review the principle of making people pay for a service they don't necessarily use rather than use it as a stick to beat them with because you find some of their content objectionable. Once again, this is liberalism in name only - the Australian Liberal Party seems to be as conservative as they come.

... Nationals MP John Forrest [urged] the return of tasteful comedy shows such as the 1970s series Are You Being Served.
Mr Forrest told colleagues the satirical take on Ms Gillard's private life demeaned the office of prime minister, after learning tomorrow's episode features on-air prime minister Amanda Bishop and actor Phil Lloyd, playing Tim Mathieson, naked on her office floor under an Australian flag.
“Having sex in the prime minister's office under the Australian flag is the last straw for me," Mr Forrest reportedly told MPs.

So, is this sticking up for Julia Gillard or disappointment that you won't get to see Amanda Bishop's arse, John? Apparently, neither. It's the flaaaaag.

“It's nothing to do with Julia Gillard. I'm not trying to defend her. It's the office of prime minister and it's not even funny.
“The old English traditional shows like Are You Being Served - they were funny, but this isn't."

John, they weren't funny. You found them funny. Lots of other people also find them funny. Other people don't. I've been for a look on YouTube to refresh my memory, and I found it to be a repetitive series of jokes mostly involving the ambiguous availability of an unambiguously camp salesman in a menswear department and the pussy of the ancient woman with a blue rinse who works opposite (feline kind, but - oh, my sides - never referred to as a cat). This may have been bleeding edge comedy in the 1970s when it began, and to be honest I did think the I'm free/pussy gags were funny the first time, but it felt like the show really didn't have much else. Blackadder or Yes Minister it ain't, but if John Forrest is amused by it then he's welcome to buy it on DVD. I suspect the ABC, despite all the things for which it could be criticised, has a better grasp of what audiences in 2011 want. In fact if ratings are any guide what they want is actually on Channel 7 (and much of it is shit if you ask me) but the ABC seem to be doing an okay job of treading the middle ground, and if it makes John Forrest feel better they are still buying second hand stuff from Britain.

"And to desecrate the flag dishonours what my dad did.”

I don't know what your dad did, John, but was it anything to do with fighting to prevent dictatorial types attempting to control other people's lives? I'm only asking.

Or, bearing in mind the religious nut element of Australian politics, is it just the thought of Julia Gillard having sex that's upsetting people? Newsflash, prudes: the woman is 50 in a couple of weeks - she's probably not a virgin, and having had a stable relationship with the same guy for some years she probably enjoys it when he gives her a nice hot fuck as an alternative to a cup of Milo at bedtime. I wouldn't want to see it on my TV either - in a weird kind of way that has to do with her job and personality it'd be like seeing your parents do it - but I can live with it being referred to on TV. And if not I know what to do about it, as does one Liberal who does actually act up to the name and understands what choice means.

But Liberal MP Bronwyn Bishop said if people didn't like the show they could change channels.
She said former prime minister John Howard had been lampooned for years by comedy shows.

And Julia Gillard herself? To her credit also, she's calmly said she won't be watching (fair enough - I can't even look at myself making a speech on someone else's wedding video) and other than that has no commented the whole thing. And while I haven't got a lot of time for her that attitude as raised my opinion of her a smidgeon.

Americans seem to venerate their flag because they think it stands for freedom, representing as it does the original 13 colonies which gained independence from Britain as well as the 50 states of today. Brits and Aussies not so much because their flags are more hybrids of other flags, and in the case of Australia independence was granted at least as much as it was won. So let's leave the flag veneration to people that not only understand it but, understand also that what a flag stands for is rather more important than the flag itself. Because I think that if something's symbolic of being free to do only as you're told I'm not sure it's worth venerating in the first place, as illustrated by a couple of my favourite American libertarians.

* Personally I'm happy with whatever flag Australia choose to have and don't mind what people choose to tattoo on themselves, so I suppose that puts me in the last group.