The Angry Exile: Things I still don't get about Australia

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Friday, 5 November 2010

Things I still don't get about Australia - No. 31

Australians, like many Brits, seem to enjoy having a dig at their national airline despite Dustin Hoffman's famous autistic character's declaration that they never crash. I've flown both Qantas and BA a couple of times each, and I do agree that one of those carriers deserves all the abuse it gets. But here anything that happens to a Qantas plane, any mid flight incident that is not 100% routine, is reported as if the airline is run by idiots and flies planes which crewed by incompetents and held together with string. Seriously, it's fast approaching the point that one of the reading lights not working in row 32 will be reported as "Qantas - latest embarrassment for troubled airline", and from my experience of flying with them that's just not bloody fair. The reporting of yesterday's A380 incident in Singapore is a typical example:

In fairness to the Herald Sun they do at least mention this:

And that should be kept in mind, because if the engine blew up in a taxi you wouldn't first question whether the cab company was in some way at fault but immediately start wondering about the make and model of car itself. Qantas didn't build the plane, Airbus did. Qantas didn't make the engine, Roll-Royce did. Qantas may have stuffed up something while maintaining it but it's far too early for the inevitable investigation to do more than consider it a line of inquiry, and you can be damned sure they'll be considering Airbus and Rolls as well, especially if this is not an isolated incident with that engine type.

Yet I'm not sure the Aussie media see it that way, and it wouldn't surprise me that if a Qantas flight in the next few days runs out of Pinot Gris or has a spelling mistake in the in flight magazine it would be reported as "Latest Qantas shame".

Comments (7)

Logging you in...

Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout

Logged in as

+1 Vote up Vote down

@AmbushPredator · 750 weeks ago

Not one of the newspaper reports ever bothered to mention the other three engines that DIDN'T explode....

1 reply · active 750 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

Angry_Exile 90p · 750 weeks ago

Good point. I suppose it's the usual thing about not being able to make headlines about things that went perfectly normally with no problems at all.

+1 Vote up Vote down

microdave · 750 weeks ago

It's probably an over-reaction caused by a number of incidents in recent years, which have cast a pretty bad light on "Quaint Arse's" cost cutting and falling maintenance standards. It isn't just the papers - you will find similar issues discussed on the pilots forums, many from crew themselves.

But I don't think it's purely an Australian issue - exactly the same thing happens here. If a British car goes wrong it will be held up as an example of everything that's wrong with the place. Yet if a BMW breaks down, it must be an isolated fault....

And don't try and convince me that the Japanese never make mistakes!

1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

Angry_Exile 90p · 750 weeks ago

Yeah, and some of it seems to be driven by the unions who are very pissed off that Qantas isn't getting all its maintenance down to changing light bulbs in the bogs done in Oz. I think a lot of what else you've said there is probably true as well.

+1 Vote up Vote down

Angry_Exile 90p · 750 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

anon · 750 weeks ago

It's because in proper English the letter 'Q' should always be followed by a 'u'.

1 reply · active 750 weeks ago

+1 Vote up Vote down

Angry_Exile 90p · 750 weeks ago

Strictly speaking it shouldn't but I'm still writing it wrong. Really it's an acronym - Queensland And Northern Territory Aerial Services - and I ought to be capitalising every letter. My desk dictionary says 'QANTAS' but spellcheckers accept 'Qantas' even without a capital Q, which probably says something about spellcheckers. QANTAS themselves use 'Qantas' all over their own website so I don't suppose I've committed a huge sin by doing the same thing here, though Mrs Exile has told me to bloody get it right from now on.

Post a new comment

Comment as a Guest, or login:

Tweet this comment

Connected as (Logout)

Email (optional)

Not displayed publicly.

Submit Comment

Subscribe to

Add insightful or amusing remarks for me to think on and respond to. Or add annoying comment spam for me to waste time deleting, in which case may your genitals turn square and fester at the corners.

Unnecessary ranting and gratuitous profanity is strictly encouraged.

NB - due to some annoying pricks comment spamming lately all comments with three or more any links go into a moderation queue. If it's not spam I will publish all comments even tenuously related to whatever I was rambling about in the post. Otherwise please refer to the comments policy.

Comments by IntenseDebate