The Angry Exile: Glass and a half of confusion.

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Monday, 4 October 2010

Glass and a half of confusion.

Via Skepticlawyer I see that Cadbury's famous "Glass and a half of milk" slogan is biting the dust, thanks to those wise overlords of the EU.

The phrase was originally used to explain the amount of milk in every half-pound chocolate bar. In its place, it now reads: “The equivalent of 426ml of fresh liquid milk in every 227g of milk chocolate”.

Well, at least in this age of snappy soundbites they were able to stick with something that trips off the tongue nicely. Christ, it doesn't sound so much like an advertising slogan as a bloody phone number.

Oddly Trading Standards are saying that they can continue to use the old slogan but Cadbury's legal advice begs to differ.

Cadbury said it had been advised that it would be forced to drop the phrase describing the ingredients under European rules.

“Because EU regulations state that by 2010 all weights and measures on packs must be in metric, given our long run times we felt it was sensible to make that change now,” said spokesperson Tony Bilsborough.

“That was our external legal advice and we checked that with Birmingham trading standards officers, who confirmed that was the case.”

Okay, so that mea...

However, trading standards said the EU rules did not apply in this case.

Oh, make your minds up, for fuck's sake. This is the bloody problem with the EU. Whether by accident or design, and Ayn Rand fans will probably think it's design, the laws on something as simple as what can be written on a chocolate wrapper have become incomprehensible and impenetrable, often at both the national and supranational level. You ask two different people whether something is legal and you get two different answers. Ask a third and you'll be told, "Maybe".

Sometimes you have to ask whether these regulations are much more than a glorified jobs program for lawyers and bureaucrats.

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@AmbushPredator · 755 weeks ago

"Sometimes you have to ask whether these regulations are much more than a glorified jobs program for lawyers and bureaucrats."

Working as intended, then?

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sadbutmadlad 66p · 755 weeks ago

It's got little do with the EU. The Glass and a half is an advertising slogan and has nothing to do weights and measures. Cadbury's chocolate already meets all EU regulations with respect to metric requirements. What this story is, is publicity by Cadbury for their chocolate. Quite cheeky and clever, but it worked. Everyone's talking about it. It's got loads of people to be passionate about Cadburys chocolate and talking about how the EU is meddling with our culture Yet Again. Even though Cadbury's is now owned by the Yanks. Loads of publicity for free.

1 reply · active 755 weeks ago

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Angry_Exile 90p · 755 weeks ago

That puts a slightly different slant on things but if that's what Cadbury are up to it's worth considering whether it would be possible without the tangled web of red tape, directives and regulation that's come out of the EU. I'd say probably not and even if Cadbury tried it'd be a non-story - everyone would know that they were, ah, milking it (sorry).

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