The Angry Exile: It could only be a government operation

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Sunday 10 July 2011

It could only be a government operation

Via the von Mises blog.

... government job-service engine Workforce Central Florida said it was spending more than $70,000 of federal stimulus money to help the unemployed by handing out 6,000 satiny capes for jobless “superheroes” to “fight” “Dr. Evil Unemployment.”

I've read that sentence a number of times in the hope of seeing a hint of sanity, or failing that a way of outdoing it to take the piss, but it's simply so window-lickingly deranged that I just can't. It also says something about how I've come to view expanding government that when I googled for confirmation of this it was not in expectation that this Dr Evil Unemployment crap would turn out to be bogus but in fear that it was probably true. Sure enough, from Workforce Central Florida's site (PDF):

WORKFORCE CENTRAL FLORIDA takes on Dr. Evil Unemployment with new Cape-A-Bility Challenge
WORKFORCE CENTRAL FLORIDA is inviting the area’s job seekers and employers to join the fight against unemployment in Central Florida with its new Cape-A-Bility Challenge. The Challenge, beginning April 11 and running through June 30, takes on WCF’s comic book villain, Dr. Evil Unemployment, and offers job seekers and employers the opportunity to win $1,000 prize packs.

Christ alive.

How can Central Florida help fight Dr. Evil Unemployment?
Job Seekers: To enter, job seekers must complete one of the following activities:

Take the WORKFORCE CENTRAL FLORIDA Facebook Quiz, “What Superhero Are You?

Become a fan of WORKFORCE CENTRAL FLORIDA on Facebook

Recommend someone on LinkedIn using the word “Super”

Tweet a job opening from the WORKFORCE CENTRAL FLORIDA online job bank

Take a photo with Dr. Evil Unemployment at a WORKFORCE CENTRAL FLORIDA or JobVantage location and uploadling it to the microsite by emailing it to DrEvil@wcfla.com

Once the task is complete, job seekers must visit any WORKFORCE CENTRAL FLORIDA or JobVantage office with proof of the activity. All job seekers who show proof of the activity will be provided the official entry form and an official Cape-A-Bility cape (while supplies last).

And we in the west think we've got it so much better than mad banana republics where dictators, pseudo generals and Presidents-for-Life rob their people and spunk the money away on Saville Row suits, gold plated Rolls Royces and AK-47s with ivory grips. Okay, actually we have got it better, but that doesn't mean we've got it right. The point is we're still robbed, albeit by well meaning folk who are using our money to pave the road to hell with their good intentions for us.

Further comment will have to wait while I mop all this blood off the desk and wait for the headache to go away.