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Cheers - AE

Monday, 5 December 2011

Taking the Pepsi challenge

Apparently Coke drinkers buying cans with polar bears on, all to promote the believed perilous situation of a species that has gone from 5-10,000 individuals half a century ago to about five times that number now and which must have survived warmer climates in the past, prefer the cans to be red rather than white. It's not said whether they prefer the contents to be completely flat and fizzless so as not to release the few grams of carbon deathoxide that will escape genie like from the tin and rush north to hold the heads of a few bear cubs under water, but I suppose that's less important than the look of the thing.
The cans featured the company's iconic logo in red, set against an all-white background and featuring a picture of three polar bears plodding through the snow, in what the company described as a "bold, attention-grabbing" move to publicise conservation efforts by the World Wildlife Fund.
I think I'll start buying supermarket own brand.

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I think it’s appalling that Polar bear coke drinkers should even consider fizzy coke. It needs to be flat. Actually, I’m sure the creation of the aluminium can spews out tons of carbon. Let’s go for plastic...oh wait. Plastic is made from oil and other naughty stuff. And the bunch of chemicals and sugar that they throw in the coke vats also probably spew out carbon somewhere along the line? Plus the final contents are guaranteed to make kids go bat shit crazy and kill people. So we need to be drinking a carbon neutral, non-sugary, non coloured, non sweetened, non caffeinated, non alcoholic and hydrating fluid of a kind yet unknown,. I mean we need to consider the fragile beauty of the 8ft, 1500lb killing machines who can run at 25 miles an hour, can swim for 50 miles, have paws much larger than a adult humans head and razor sharp teeth and claws to boot.

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