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Friday 19 March 2010

Things I still don't get about Australia - No. 20

Driving... have I done driving before? I'm not sure but I may have, so apologies if I'm repeating myself by saying that I still don't get why so many drivers here are shit. I say this because I'm shaking with rage after having driven across town and nearly been rammed off the road by thoughtless cunts with zero lane discipline and, in one case, P plates on what I presume was Dad's BMW. That one simply drove in the straightest possible line reagrdless of what the lane markings were doing, leaving me with the choice of slamming the brakes on and getting hit by the wanker behind who wasn't leaving enough room (par for the course there) or briefly crossing the solid yellow line and hoping there was neither a tram coming or a cop to see me do it. I suspect in Toorak or somewhere like it there is an expensive insurance claim just fucking waiting to happen and, whoever you are, it's your own fault for giving your unobservant, self absorbed, mongtarded, fuckwit offspring the keys to your fucking 7 series instead of buying them a used Festiva. You're not just responsible for my underwear finding out what colour adrenaline is but also, when they've finally written off your Bee-Em, upping everybody's insurance premiums. You're a weapons grade cunt and I hope that the problem soon becomes its own solution when they run you over in your own driveway.

2 comments:

Chuckles said...

Paraphrasing Polly, 'No, it's all right, they're from Australia.'

Angry Exile said...

Perhaps, but I'm sure there are above average levels of road going idiocy here. That's probably a post for some time in the future rather than this more casual venting of rage at being forced into a part of the road set aside for fucking 30 ton trams.

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