The Angry Exile: Are the socialists right after all?

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Friday 19 March 2010

Are the socialists right after all?

That title has probably caused a few sharp intakes of breath, but now and again I do wonder if they are actually right that people are basically thick as mince and need the guiding hand of a benevolent state to look after them from the cradle to the grave. Why do I wonder this now and then? Because now now and then I stumble across very convincing evidence that people really are as daft as the statist bastards say. I don't mean individual stupidity where someone might stick his knob in a wall socket to see what happens - that's just the stupid gene trying it's best to get its host out of the pool. No, what I'm talking about are large numbers of people who are so dense as to cause a far greater risk of accidental black hole creation than the LHC. Via Cracked! I've just come across a very good example.

Facebook now has 300 million users. For a lot of those people, Facebook is the Internet, and they're happy to do all of their information shopping there. A great and terrifying illustration came when this blog mentioned Facebook logins in an update. When (presumably old) people Googled "Facebook Login," the blog showed up in their results, bombarding them with thousands of people saying "IS THIS FACEBOOK WHY DOES IT LOOK DIFFERENT HELP I JUST WANT TO LOG IN."

Oh dear God. Can there really be large numbers of people who can't tell the difference between two very different websites? From the 45 pages of comments it would appear that there can. It starts on Feb 10th at 9:12am with a lady by the name of Gladys who says

Ok If I have to I will comment,I love facebook so right now just want to log in if thats ok with you..lol Keep up the good work...

And within an hour progresses to

ok cool now can I get to facebook

and

The new facebook sucks> NOW LET ME IN.

and

I WANT THE OLD FAFEBOOK BACK THIS SHIT IS WACK!!!!!

and

please give me back the old facebook login this is crazy.................

and

EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY NOT JUST LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!1111

and

I just want to log in to Facebook - what with the red color and all? LOLLLOLOL!!!!!111

That last one is comment number 12. Not all of the remaining 188 are along the same lines - plenty are people trying to explain the devilishly tricky concept of 'not the same fucking website' - but if they're that daft how likely is it that they're going to stop trying to photosynthesise in front of the monitor long enough to read and understand the explanation? Despite a paragraph explaining that it's not Facebook and what to do to get to Facebook being added to the text of the blog post there are still Facebook addicted mongtards posting comments that they can't log in... "lololol!!!!111!!!" (I assume this is what happens when you have to type with hooves or something). Take post no. 199:

do i need to redo something in order get on facebook?

Posted by: Jessie | March 18, 2010 10:26 AM

Yes, Jessie. Unless you're joining in the piss taking I suggest you redo your whole fucking life. Or failing that just the bit where you failed to pay attention to comment no. 198 which fucking explained it to you almost entirely with words of one syllable (the three exceptions all being the word Facebook).

So faced with this incontrovertible evidence that there really are large numbers of people who'd starve to death on the wrong side of doors without someone to remind them how the handle works (a concept the dog and both cats have all grasped* incidentally) I have to admit that they might need looking after their whole lives after all. Now if someone can just explain why the fuck those of us who can get through life on our own should have to (a) put up with constant nannying from the state, (b) accept that this is because we are assumed to be only as bright as the most stupid person in the country, and (c) be forced to pay for notices to remind the other lot to keep breathing in and out, then I'll sign up to the idea of socialism.

* Unfortunately none of them can physically grasp the door knobs we have now.

8 comments:

microdave said...: I probably wouldn't mind the state looking after the mongtards if they left us the fuck alone.
Trouble is they would still expect us to pay for their nannying....; 19 March 2010 at 05:56
Chuckles said...: You've got the germ of a good idea floating around in there AE.
What are our chances of convincing the politicians that we'll just play quietly on our own over here, you can play with that lot over there to your hearts content?

Hmmmm. Perhaps we'd need to add 'Do it or we'll nuke you from orbit.'; 19 March 2010 at 07:50
banned said...: made my day ta (ref from Leg_Iron); 19 March 2010 at 15:31
Surreptitious Evil said...: And they wonder why people keep falling for phishing attacks and 419 emails. Oh well.

I do try to convince people that the Disability Discrimination Act doesn't actually apply to idiots - you are allowed to deny people use of services because they are simply too stupid to use them properly or safely. It's probably just the foaming at the mouth that detracts from my credibility ...; 19 March 2010 at 19:18
comprehension said...: Just read the readers comments in The Daily Mail and you will realise that people are too stupid to be allowed to comment. There should be a small IQ test before they can log in. We used to get 'Comprehension' at school. You read a passage from a book or article then you had to answer questions on the article to show that you understood it properly. Most people can read but a lot can't understand. That's why people keep falling for all the scams.; 19 March 2010 at 21:04
fbgavin756 said...: omg i just goolged facebook loggin and get this !?!?!? WHERES MY FACEBOOK LOGGIN PAGE U SPAZ!?!?!?!; 19 March 2010 at 22:06
Angry Exile said...: @ microdave and Chuckles, hmm, that's given me a thought.

@banned, it just fucking depressed me, but welcome anyway.

@Surreptitious Evil, yeah. The only bright spot is that the 419 baiters have shown that many of the scammers are just as stupid.

@comprehension, it's the Mainly Fail [shrugs].

@fbgavin756, thanks, that's the first laugh I've had out of this.; 20 March 2010 at 00:45
Vladimir said...: Good link. I would say it's unbelievable, but I know how some users behave when faced with something unfamiliar on their computers. They panic, their brains shut down, and they can only cry "fix it for me!!!11!!"

I hope I never end up like that... that I will always have enough sense to take initiative and figure things out for myself.; 20 March 2010 at 12:08