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Cheers - AE

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Dennis the just a bit odd and mildly irritating.

Dennis the Menace has had a politically correct makeover:
Dennis The Menace has been banned from using his catapult, water pistol and peashooter in a new BBC series, according to reports.
Christ, give me fucking strength. Look, I'm not sitting here reminiscing about a fondly remembered character from my childhood but why not simply ditch the character altogether? Why re-write a character called Dennis the Menace in such a way as to neuter the menace part of it? It's either writers that are too fucking lazy to come up with something original or another example of this revisionist thing so beloved of the Righteous that gives me the shits.
... rather than terrorise characters including Walter The Softy, he will get into scrapes by dreaming up contraptions that cause mayhem...
Sound menacing? I'd say Dennis the Hopeless Dreamer, or Dennis the Slightly Weird Annoying Crank?
... including turning faithful pet dog Gnasher into a cleaning device.
Dennis the Heath Robinson Designer? Dennis the Inappropriate And Possibly Cruel Pet Owner?
He has also been redrawn to look less menacing, with his usual scowl replaced with a boyish grin.
Sounds like Dennis the Gormless Softcock.
Red Kite, the production company behind the new series said on their website: "Dennis and Gnasher believe the world is truly their oyster and that kids should make the rules. They are active, creative and possess a charming, cheeky self-confidence which gets them both into and out of trouble!"
Yeah, fuck knuckles, that just sounds soooooo fucking menacing... not. What's Dennis the Cheeky And Creative going to do to menace me? Ruin the garden with a well placed finger painting? Destroy the neigbourhood peace by playing some ethnic style percussion on a home made xylophone that sounds like it was tuned by someone with deafening tinnitus and a single digit IQ?
"Dennis can't be seen to use weapons and giving other kids grief in a BBC cartoon. The BBC doesn't want to be accused of encouraging children to be violent."
When the BBC initially announced the new cartoon, they said they wished to appeal to the modern "iPod" generation.
Then fucking write something new, you lazy cunts.
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