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Cheers - AE

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Oh no, not another one.

For expat Brits living in parts of Australia elections have become like buses - you wait bloody ages and then two or three come along at once. Having just got over the excitement of spoiling my ballot paper by proxy in May's UK general election I can look forward to the new thrill of choosing between similarly unpalatable alternatives in two more elections here in Oz (unless the Liberal Democrats, who are unlike their UK namesakes by being both liberal and democratic, happen to field candidates round here).

Naturally the PM's job is going to end up being either an illiberal madman from the Liberal party or the redhead from Wales. Both their parties have compelling reasons why I'd rather not vote for them, but despite that either might end up with my second preference anyway simply because of the possibility that the iLiberal or the ALP candidates might not be the least attractive candidates. And of course Australia famously has compulsory voting, so we'll be fined for not showing up.

Whoopie-fucking-doo. Excuse me while I go and savagely bang my head on the patio for a bit.


Captain Ranty said...

"And of course Australia famously has compulsory voting, so we'll be fined for not showing up."

Are you allowed to vote then? I thought you were a Whinging Pom?


Angry Exile said...

Depending on your visa once you've been here long enough you can become a citizen. It was two years when I got here but a couple of years ago they got all concerned about immigration and changed the criteria by increasing it to four years.

Of course you do have to pass a test to satisfy them that you're properly Ocker, which is only right and proper. This consists of an essay section of at least 1000 words either on why Australia should have won the last Ashes series or your preferred means by which Jonny Wilkinson should be put to death on the site of his 2003 drop goal, a language section where you have to translate several sentences from English into Strine, a practical section where you have to tell an AFL footy from a rugby ball blindfolded, and finally a set of questions on Aussie culture, because modern Australia is very cultured doncherknow. This means it is important to be able to identify the appropriate lager to serve with the soup course at a dinner party. Mind you, they might have changed some of that too.

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