The Angry Exile: Bikini babe sailors and feminist outrage

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Bikini babe sailors and feminist outrage

Newsflash - humourless feminists go nuts over Navy officer's interview (also reported in the UK media here and here and probably a few others I couldn't be arsed to google for). The Age:

Feminists are calling for action to be taken after an Australian Navy submarine commander suggested that women sailors in bikinis would help boost recruitment.
The Daily Telegraph reports that Commander Tom Phillips from the HMAS Farncomb was asked by a men's magazine if "female sailors all had to be hot and had to wear bikinis, would that help recruitment?".
Commander Phillips is quoted as replying: "It would certainly get the right demographic of young men in. I'm not sure how feasible it is."
Defence Minister Warren Snowden said the comments were "utterly unacceptable".
Chair of the Women's Lobby Australia, Eva Cox, said the comments reflected the "Navy's limited view of women as bodies rather than brains", the Telegraph reported.

Eva, the guy was interviewed by a lad's mag, who asked him a typical albeit inane and laddish question. It was also a fairly leading question and the response shouldn't be too surprising. Actually I felt it was a fairly balanced answer. He did not say that he thought it was a good idea to have female sailors in bikinis, just that it would appeal to a certain demographic, presumably testosterone laden men in their late teens and early twenties, who are also desired by the RAN for other reasons. Oh, and how did the second bit go again?

I'm not sure how feasible it is.

Sounds like he has some reservations about actually putting into practice. Eva, fuck off eh?

The Telegraph (UK rather than Sydney):

"If these comments are to be attributed to this newly appointed commander, I think it will go down as one of the shortest careers in naval history," MP Bob Baldwin said. Australia's Minister for Defence Personnel Warren Snowden told the Sydney Daily Telegraph that the remarks were "utterly unacceptable".

Bob, Warren, see above. And then fuck off.

I think the UK's Grauniad actually has the most balanced take on this:

Now then, the original Reuters story says he suggested female sailors "should" wear bikinis, which isn't quite true. If we scroll down the story we find that, in fact, he was asked by Ralph Magazine: "If female sailors all had to be hot and had to wear bikinis, would that help recruitment?"

Nice to see that someone spotted that it was Raplh's question that sparked the answer. On top of which I can't imagine that Commander Phillips was behind the interview or did it off his own back without clearing it through the appropriate Naval Headquarters and/or DoD in Canberra. I haven't bothered to check but I wouldn't be shocked if it turned out that it was an NHQ/DoD idea to get a senior officer to do a lad mag interview to help recruitment in the first place. At the least they could have easily put the kybosh on the idea if Commander Phillips was in fact the one who thought of it. So why is Phillips getting all the flak from the feminists and politicians? Why not throw some at the magazine for asking a puerile question? Why not chuck some in the direction of those who either approved or were behind it as well? Why not, getting down to the nitty gritty, give it some fucking thought instead of going after the easiest and most obvious target? I can see why feminists and politicians would be offended by a serious suggestion from a Navy officer that female sailors should all look like they're Baywatch extras, and rightly so because it would be ridiculous from pretty much any perspective, but that's not what happened. I feel that the feminist cause isn't being helped much here by the feminists themselves.