... Then they came for the people who like hamburgers ...

They've just about won on smoking, they feel they're doing pretty well on drinking, and for a while now it's been pretty clear that what we eat will be next. So while it's depressing this comes as absolutely no fucking surprise whatsoever.

Restaurants and takeaway shops will have to provide health warnings on menus as part of a new Government drive to prevent obesity, climate change and global food shortages.

Oh, my. Health nazism, delusional green control freakery and a touch of neo-Malthusianism, all in one sentence.

The first major food strategy to be published since World War Two establishes a new "Healthy Food Code of Practice" that will ask all restaurants and fast food outlets to clearly label the amount of sugar and fat in unhealthy meals.

Yes, I'm sure it's planned to remain at 'asking' and nobody's drawn up a schedule for when it'll turn into 'advising' and then 'ordering'.

New labels on food will show the 'carbon footprint' in manufacturing and transporting products.

Good. It ought to be pointless since a higher priced item immediately implies that it cost more to produce and/or transport, or at least it would do if you lot weren't constantly muddying the waters by taxing this, subsidising that and giving an allowance on the other. But well done for the carbon footprint idea. I'll know what to buy more of then, and if your retarded idea works with any luck demand for those products will bring the price down a bit.

Hilary Benn, the Environment Secretary, who is due to announce the new strategy at the Oxford Farming Conference, said the UK could be a "food superpower" in the next ten years by revolutionising farming and food manufacturing.
But ultimately, the vegetarian minister said healthy eating is up to the consumer and pledged more money to educate people in eating and buying the right food.

The right food being vegetables? Sorry but when someone says that something is up to individual people and then pledges money, money that those same people have had taken from them by force, to 'educate' them into making the 'right' decision I smell a rat. Who are you to say what is the right decision? I spy with my little eye something beginning with an ideology and ending with a conflict of interests. Seriously, why not just put Paul McCartney or some other fucking meat hater in charge? If it's to be a veggie I really don't mind, providing it was one known to not give a flying fuck if other people eat meat. I'm far from convinced Hilary Benn qualifies.

The Government's food policy for the next 20 years is intended to not only promote healthy food but also to fight global warming and ensure we do not fall victim to food shortages.

Look, you deluded, nannying fuck monkeys, number one, an individual's weight is their problem even if the state pays for their healthcare because, if you'll care to recall, you've already drained the poor sod of money to pay for their healthcare in advance. It's their body and they've paid in advance at the point of a metaphorical gun, on your orders. You don't get to carry on making their decisions for them - fuck you.

Number two, if you think forgoing the extra cheese topping will have the slightest measurable impact on the climate you're quite mad. The scientific arguments are still going on about whether it's possible to separate an anthropogenic signal in all the climate noise from the net total of every single thing our species has been doing for 150 years, and you seriously believe you can narrow it down to a contribution from junk food? Bullshit! But perhaps you don't seriously believe it at all, you just want the proles to believe it because they'll have to keep coming to you for instructions advice. What a happy thought. If you're daft enough to believe it then fuck off, and if you're just hoping we'll believe it then fuck you.

Number three, the warble gloaming driven, government subsidised, international rush to stop using productive land for growing food and start using it to produce bio-fuels instead helped make a global food shortage. Your fault! Yours! Don't you fucking dare lecture us for living in wealthy nations (though less wealthy than they were due to unrelated fuck ups of yours) and being able to afford increased food prices as production fell due to your policies. Don't you fucking dare hint that it's taken the food from the mouth of some poor bastard starving somewhere in the developing world when they might have had a little more if you lot in western governments hadn't been spunking away our tax money to persuade farmers there to grow inedible crops for fucking fuel!

Fuck you! Fuck you all right in the fucking gob, you hypocritical, joyless, knob chomping, nannying cuntrags.