999 failboat.

Hugely entertaining.

Nanny's local council had checked the ice (7-8 inches) for safety and solidity, and the curlers of Kirk Loch duly began curling.

Can you guess what happened next loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, someone phoned the police to tell them that there people on the ice.

Nanny's police, six of them to be precise (according to "Skip Cottage Curling"), duly turned up to warn of the danger.

However, owing to health and safety rules, they couldn't go onto the ice.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right, Nith rescue arrived in a rescue boat. However, owing to health and safety rules, they couldn't go onto the ice either.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right, the coast guard arrived!

However, owing to health and safety rules, they couldn't go onto the ice.

Let's just sit back and admire the fail for a bit. Six coppers standing around unable to do a bloody thing because of elfinsafti* ... fail. Three emergency services respond but they're not permitted to go onto a frozen lake despite the ice having been checked and the presence of people already out there enjoying themselves in a continuing state of non-danger... fail. One of the emergency services shows up with a fucking boat but is still not permitted to go on the lake... fail. Instead of maybe leaving one plod to keep an eye on things and everyone else buggering off in case a real emergency happens elsewhere they end up standing there just watching... fail.

Photo by Anne Smith from skipcottagecurling.blogspot.com

But the biggest fail of all isn't actually that funny. It seems likely that some busybody decided to phone the police instead of going and politely asking the curlers if they were sure they were okay out there. Independent thought and not relying on the fucking Nanny State... very sadly fail.

* Actually there was something they could have done. The Ambush Predator has blogged on some muppet reporting his girlfriend's mobile being nicked and then got done for wasting police time when they rang it and she answered. They gave the idiot an £80 Fixed penalty Notice for the, so why couldn't the Scottish cops have occupied themselves giving each other fines for standing there doing fuck all of practical use to a bunch of people who were clearly not in need of police assistance? Or maybe even the softcock who rang 999 instead of talking to the curlers in the first place?