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Cheers - AE

Thursday, 1 July 2010

Police. Camera. Over-reaction.

I'm rather late to this so it's all over the blogosphere already (H/T in rough order of where I remember seeing it, the LPUK blog, the Ambush Predator, the Filthy Engineer, the Devil and probably half my blogroll in fact) but I'm going to jump in and ask the question anyway:

What the fuck is going on with the Metropolitan Police?

I mean, really, what the fuck are they thinking? Not only have they got a less than enviable record (see this from last December or this from the previous July, for example) but their actions have been so heavy-handed that it's prompted the formation of a campaign group and a protest, and they've been told they can't just use Section 44 to search whoever the fuck they want just because they feel like it. And on top of all that they've just this week been caught out abusing their powers and their office, so you'd have thought the word would have come down from the very top to the newest and greenest of uninformed (not a typo) fucknuggets: leave the photographers alone unless they're actually committing a fucking crime, by which we mean photographing through someone's windows or letterbox or battering someone to death with a telephoto lens. Ask if you must, and if you must use what used to be known as copper's nous and make a conversation about what sort of camera you should buy if you wanted to get into photography or why your holiday snaps look so crap, but for fuck's sake don't end up on fucking YouTube as the star of the latest clip of a rude and disrespectful police officer bullying an innocent citizen with absolutely no cause or legal justification. Just fucking don't.

That the word has not come down means I assume that Commissioner Paul Stephenson, he at the very top, doesn't really give a shit if his goons take a metaphorical dump on the uniform by ganging up on a teenage photojournalist for no apparent reason other than the fact that they felt they could. About all you can credit them for is that they'll be being honest when they say, 'Oh, he fell down some stairs.' (Not voluntarily by the sounds of it, but never mind.) Still, he's probably got other things on his plate. Those Scotland Yard branded children's crime scene kits won't sell themselves, you know.

Anna Gardiner, head of the MPS Income Generation Unit, said "We were aware that there was a keen interest amongst children in police and forensics procedure and we wanted to do something with educational value."
Hang on, the fucking what? Income Generation Unit? Fuck me ragged, income generation is a police function now, is it? That explains oh so very much.

Just out of interest have you got a Photographer Hassling Unit? If so then why not get the MPSPHU to liase with the MPSIGU and see if there's any way they can bill people for falling down the stairs?
Spokesman Matthew Parlett said: "It is a real coup and an honour to be the first brand licensing partner with the Metropolitan Police Service on the New Scotland Yard brand."
What? Whaaat?? It's a fucking police force for Christ's sake. It doesn't have a fucking brand. It isn't fucking CSI: Lancaster Gate. It exists for two reasons and two only, and that is firstly to prevent crime and, where they've failed to do that, secondly to find and arrest people who commit crime. Got that? It's not there to compete with fucking Toys R Us at Christmas time, it doesn't need to generate income, and above all you can't turn yourselves into a fucking brand or no doubt you'll soon be kicking the shit out of people with Chinese knock offs of 'your brand' down the markets. Well, when you've finally driven every photographer, amateur snapper and tourist with a camera from away from London, obviously.

Like I said, what the fuck is going on with the Metropolitan Police? New Scotland Yard is turning into fucking New Scotland Yardies. Just fucking stop it and do what the taxpayer is paying you for.
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