And that's when the fight started...

Via email.

The year before last I bought the mother in law a plot at the cemetary for Christmas. Last year I didn't get her anything. When she asked why I told her that she hadn't used the gift I bought last year.
And that's how the fight started.

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We were sitting at a table at her high school reunion and she kept looking at this guy getting drunk on his own at a nearby table. I asked if she knew him, "Yes," she said. "He's an ex-boyfriend. I heard he started drinking after we split up all those years ago and he hasn't been sober since."
"My God," I said. "That's a hell of a long time to go on celebrating."
And that's when the fight started.

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We were in bed watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, and I turned to her and askd "Do you want sex?"
"No," she said.
"Is that your final answer?" I asked.
She didn't even bother looking and just went, "Yes."
So I said, "Can I phone a friend?"
And that's how the fight started.

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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’
And then the fight started.

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My wife was hitting about what she wanted for our anniversary. She said she wanted something shiny that went from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds, so I bought her bathroom scales.
And then the fight started.

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When I got home the other night my wife demanded that I take her somewhere expensive, so we got in the car and I took her to the gas station.
And that's when the fight started.