Aha Shake Nowt Break

Oh noes, we have teh erfquakes.

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We're all going to di... oh, wait.

MORE aftershocks are expected after Victoria's south was rocked by two earthquakes, including a magnitude 4.4 tremor felt in Melbourne, more than 100km from its epicentre.

The shallow magnitude 4.4 earthquake, which hit at 11.32am (AEST), was felt in Melbourne's CBD and the city's southeastern suburbs.

Look, it doesn't become an 8.8 if you say it twice, you know. There have been a few of these in the last couple of years, the epicentres apparently being in the Korumburra area - or under it, presumably - and to be honest I haven't even felt them all. If you're driving a 4.4 wobble is either soaked up by the car's suspension or indistinguishable from the regular wobbles from imperfections in the road surface, of which Melbourne has no shortage what with having a substantial tram network. Oh, and some shit roads too. As for the possibility of aftershocks, well, we got those after the 4.6 quake in early 2009 but since most were much smaller few got any attention from anyone but the scientists. So why the hell are we hearing stuff like this:

“You would think a truck had driven through the pub.”

Or this:

"It sounded like a truck was approaching up the street and then it was as if the truck had run into the building..."

Orly? Like this kind of thing, you mean?

No? Well, then I think the description you're looking for is something like "not like a truck hitting the building". It's like standing on a bridge when a truck, a big, long heavy truck like a road train, drives past at speed - you get that same shaking felt through your feet and it goes on for about as long as it takes a road train to cross a bridge. It's weird, yes, and definitely a bit disconcerting, but it is not like having a truck, even a small one, hit your house. There's a sort of clue in the lack of sudden sky and falling masonry. The poor bloody Kiwis have just had another 6.5 - the thick end of 1000 times more powerful - and even though they seem to have emerged unscathed this time I don't think we here in Melbourne have any call to exaggerate how our little ≈4 mag wobbles feel, especially when at least one young Kiwi didn't even notice theirs either.

@UpsideBackwards 8yo didn't feel #eqnz because.... they were having an earthquake drill at the time! #couldntmakethisup