The best place to live anywhere in the world is...

... Essex. Well, if low crime is important to you it can't possibly be anywhere else because pretty clearly there must be almost none there at all. How else can you explain this?

Police roadblocks are being set up to catch drivers who are breaking the law – by smoking at the wheel of their company vehicle.
Council wardens and Essex Police will carry out random inspections across the county to look for evidence of illicit cigarette use.
They will even hunt for cigarette butts in the ashtrays and smell the air inside the vehicles in order to clamp down on the outlawed practice.

What a paradise it must be that the local police can spare the time to set up roadblocks on behalf of the tobacco gauleiters and their campaign to rid the county of its last remaining criminals - those who smoke in commercial vehicles and company cars. I'm sure the people of Essex must be so happy as they sleep soundly in their routinely unlocked houses.

Wankers.