Somehow I missed this one.

"We applied the seeing-thinking forumula to smoking and found that it followed exactly the same pattern.
"We got a bunch of smokers together and showed them a picture of a cigarette. We asked them if this made them think about cigarettes and they all said 'yes'."

The research has been hailed by anti-smoking group ASH who say it will be a vital weapon in their battle to force film producers to pretend that smoking does not exist.

...

"If we can ban smoking from films then it means we can start to make everyone the same and then organise them all into nice neat rows and make sure everything is just the way it's supposed to be all the time.

"And then I can finally have a shit."

The Mash of course. Where else?