Symmetry.

Just as the UK is finding its political parties are more alike than ever, so it is Down Under. A front bench politician is suggesting, apparently in all seriousness, that the High Street banks are charging too much interest on top of the base rate set by the Reserve Bank of Australia. You might think it sounds like a Labor policy but while I wouldn't have put it past them to consider it, control freaks that they are, it actually isn't one of theirs. You might think that maybe, if the Australian Greens are of the watermelon variety, that it's one of their policies, and certainly at least one person in Canberra did.

Liberal parliamentary secretary Don Randall, though, lampooned the idea as one typical of the Australian Greens.

"This is just another one of their ... lunatic fringe-type ideas," he told reporters in Canberra.

But it wasn't the Greens either, although it didn't take them long to point out that they do have a Bill in the Senate intended to do something similar. Unfortunately for Don Randall it was actually said by his fellow Liberal and Shadow Treasurer, Joe Hockey, and so not for the first time I'm sitting here wondering where the fuck some of the Australian Liberals were when the dictionaries were handed out.

Liberal

Adjective
1. Showing or characterized by broad-mindedness; "a broad political stance"; "generous and broad sympathies"; "a liberal newspaper"; "tolerant of his opponent's opinions".
2. Having political or social views favoring reform and progress.
3. Tolerant of change; not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or tradition.
4. Given or giving freely; "was a big tipper"; "the bounteous goodness of God"; "bountiful compliments"; "a freehanded host"; "a handsome allowance"; "Saturday's child is loving and giving"; "a liberal backer of the arts"; "a munificent gift"; "her fond and openhanded grandfather".
5. Not literal; "a loose interpretation of what she had been told"; "a free translation of the poem".

Noun
1. A person who favors a political philosophy of progress and reform and the protection of civil liberties.
2. A person who favors an economic theory of laissez-faire and self-regulating markets.

Just considering the nouns, and in particular the second one, does this clown sound remotely liberal? And if not what the hell does that say about the party's leadership?

Well, I have news for you, Joe Hockey. I don't fucking need you to protect me from my nasty bank, which I don't find all that nasty to be perfectly honest. But if I do feel they are taking the piss I will, being more a Classic Liberal than whatever kind of liberal you pass for in poor light, take my business away and fuck off elsewhere. My threshold for doing this might not be the same as the bloke over the road but when a bank or any other business offers too little value its customers will increasingly look elsewhere. I haven't as yet, but for all I know the bloke over the road already has. This is the self regulating market referred to in definition 2. Your not so liberal suggestion, Joe, verges on nationalising the banks. Oh, not with taxpayers' money but by legislative fiat, by chaining them with more government oversight and by removing their freedom to operate freely as private enterprises. In your desire to jump on the bank bashing bandwagon and appear all 'fair go' to everyone all you have actually achieved is briefly to out-socialist the fucking Australian Labor Party and put yourself out there in - sorry, what did your colleague call it again? Oh yes - the lunatic fringe with the bloody Greens.

So there you have it, folks. Liberal, Labor, Green - similar kinds of authoritarian fucknuts dreaming up similar kinds of ways in which the lives and private business of 22 million people can be run by their little cabal in Canberra.

Fuck you, Joe, and fuck the lot of you up there.