Twat (the Even Younger).

The latest example of voting fraud in the UK turns out to be some insufferable bell end of a 14 year old kid, Alfie McKenzie, who was sent a polling card after his 19 year old sister accidentally told a registrar that he was eligible, and was able to use it after his mother did nothing more than "told him not to vote" and because the staff at the polling station failed to query it.

"It was just too much of a temptation to resist," he said. "I'm a socialist, I'm really, really interested in politics. I'd been reading up on it a lot before the election, and I'd got very interested in tactical voting. Nobody asked me for ID or anything, I was literally in and out of the polling station in about 15 seconds.

Unbefuckinglievable. How did he manage to avoid being spotted?

"I was at the polling station by 10 past seven. I dressed really carefully, in my trenchcoat, with my glasses, and I was careful to wear my posh shoes. I put on a posh accent, sort of southern. I reckoned if they thought I was a Tory voter nobody would suspect me, because it couldn't have made any difference in this constituency."

So the kid dressed like, well, like a kid playing grown ups by the sounds of things, and he wasn't spotted. When it was busy later on that might seem fair enough but at ten past seven? Couldn't have been that busy because he was able to vote, go home to change and get himself to school on time. In fact he said he was in and out in seconds. Is this an indication that the staff at the polling station were less than with it or just another example of how turning up with the right paperwork is more important in modern Britain and people rarely think to check if everything looks in order? For fuck's sake, at least the Gestapo men thought to check up on Gordon Jackson by wishing him luck in English.

And Alfie's vote?

"I would be a Labour supporter, but I voted Lib Dem tactically: I would have been interested in a Lib-Lab coalition, but Clegg is in with Cameron right now, isn't he? I'm not really a Cameron man."

You're not a man at all yet, shit for brains, though you're clearly old enough to know that you shouldn't have voted because you fucking said so yourself.

'I realised I was breaking the law,' Alfie said. 'But I'm very passionate about politics, so when the polling card arrived by accident I felt I had a duty to use it.'

What a shame you're not as passionate about democracy. You might have seen your duty as reporting it - to the media if you wanted your fifteen minutes - before the fucking election so that the potential for fraud was highlighted well before polling day. I could also say the same thing about your parents, who seem to be too busy seeing the funny side of their country's electoral processes being fucking wide open to abuse.

You're in a safe Tory seat so your vote was insignificant as far as the result goes, but what it exposes is extremely significant as far as it shows yet more potential for electoral fraud. Ask yourself this, Alfie, passionate young socialist and dedicated non-thinker that you are: what would you be saying if a few thousand baby Tories in marginal labour areas had been able to do what you did?


H/T Bella Gerens.