Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside...

... but not if cunts like this are going to be around.

Gordon Brown unleashed his secret weapon, his last-minute electoral game-changer, yesterday: he appointed Duncan Bannatyne to be his “seaside czar”.

What the fuck are you going to get him to do for you, Gordon? Strut up and down the place coughing and waving his hands at anyone having a quiet smoke?

Seemingly oblivious to the possibility that he might be ousted from Downing Street by the end of the week, the “delighted” Prime Minister announced that the Dragons’ Den star had agreed to “lead a review into the economic and tourism potential of seaside towns up and down the country”.

Mr Brown was speaking at the launch of Labour’s “seaside manifesto” on Great Yarmouth’s freezing, windswept promenade at the fag end of a wet May Bank Holiday. “With the right support of an active government, places like Ipswich and Great Yarmouth can be a new riviera on the North Sea,” he declared, without a trace of irony.

...

It was unclear why Labour had taken the unprecedented step of rushing out a “seaside manifesto” three days before the election. This is, after all, the party that swapped Blackpool for Manchester as a venue for its annual conference, and the Prime Minister who reportedly “hated every minute” of the summer holiday that he was persuaded to take in Southwold, just down the coast from Great Yarmouth, in 2008.

...

But it could just be that of the Conservatives’ top 100 target seats, at least 17 are Labour-held coastal constituencies.

Jesus, Gord, wouldn't it be simply to just cheat? Oh...