I told you I was ill.

Man flu exists!

Men's ability to turn a sniffle into flu and a headache into a migraine has long been a source of irritation to wives and girlfriends.
But the new research suggests that they are not faking it and that they suffer diseases more seriously and for longer.

Yesss, result!!! Pass the ice cream and the TV remote, love.

Scientists believe it is the male predilection for a "live fast, die young" lifestyle that means in evolutionary terms they have failed to build up their immune systems like females.

Wait, what? Say that again, 'live fast and...'?

A team at the University of Cambridge came up with the theory by applying a mathematical model to the various factors that characterise males and females.
It predicts that the adventurous lifestyle of the male means that they are more exposed to disease but paradoxically this reduces their immunity.

A mathematical model. Riiiiiiight. And this is based on?

The reason is that they invest more energy in maintaining the ability to reproduce while ill and also take the view they will be reinfected quickly so do not need to have such a strong immune system.
...
He said that maintaining the ability to mate was more important to men than getting better, yet for women it was the other way around.
"Under this scenario, the model predicts that overall, females should try to clear infection rapidly, regardless of the relative risk of catching infection," he said.
"In contrast, males are selected to decrease their immune defences and remain sexually active during infection if their exposure to infection is high."

Sorry to piss on your chips, Cambridge, but I can tell you from personal experience that there is little that will more effectively induce Mrs Exile to suffer a headache around 9 in the evening than me wheezing, spluttering, dribbling snot from both nostrils and liable to sneeze without warning. If you lot reckon you can still get a shag when you're leaking unmentionable fluids from half your facial orifices you must all be a much better fuck than me, and I bow to your studliness. Or Cambridge girls are easier than a GCSE re-sit.

Of course it might also be speculative bollocks designed to give The Daily Mash an nice easy start to their day. I'm looking forward to this one, fellas. It's half writing itself.