Earth Hour 2010

Fuck the planet, I want to live on Mars - H/T Grumpy Old Twat

In a little over 36 hours it will be this year's chance for millions of people who don't live a particularly eco-sound lifestyle to feel as if they do by stumbling around in the dark for an hour, and possibly burning down their homes with a tea light. Supposedly this will help them change their habits and start going properly green, though this is kind of like expecting everybody's New Year resolutions to stick. Yeah, good luck with trying to persuade mums to make her kids eat twigs and tradies to push their fucking utes to work on Monday.

I really have little to add that I didn't say last year. The whole fucking thing is a pointless waste of time except as a feel good exercise for gullible greenies (as opposed to greenies who, like me, expect Dirt Hour to achieve fuck all of significance) and a PR job for WWF (which might as well mean 'Wait. What? Fuck!' as far as I'm concerned) and Fairfax Media who dreamt up the bloody thing between them in the first place. I won't turn all the lights and everything electrical on while I drive around the neighbourhood for an hour because that's just silly. Turn 'em on or not, it's up to you, but forgive me if I don't join in. I understand the sentiment and I love the idea of calling it Human Achievement Hour because I appreciate the 'fuck you' gesture, but the bottom line is I still have to pay the bills.

However, I do intend to treat Mud Hour with the contempt it deserves by doing precisely nothing out of the ordinary. Probably one computer and a printer will be on, and definitely the TV and associated peripherals, occasionally the kettle, the oven if we eat in or the car if we get a take away, and as many fucking lights as we need to avoid bouncing off walls or tripping over one of three retarded animals (especially the cats who probably think that everything sees in the dark as well as they do). Besides, the Melbourne F1 Grand Prix and Aussie Rules are on this weekend, and if the idea of evening football under six fuck off great floodlights doesn't render Soil Hour a meaningless exercise then dozens of cars going very fast (even very, very fast) in circles round a park all weekend and using up fuck knows how much fuel bloody well should.