Friday, 19 March 2010

Are the socialists right after all?

That title has probably caused a few sharp intakes of breath, but now and again I do wonder if they are actually right that people are basically thick as mince and need the guiding hand of a benevolent state to look after them from the cradle to the grave. Why do I wonder this now and then? Because now now and then I stumble across very convincing evidence that people really are as daft as the statist bastards say. I don't mean individual stupidity where someone might stick his knob in a wall socket to see what happens - that's just the stupid gene trying it's best to get its host out of the pool. No, what I'm talking about are large numbers of people who are so dense as to cause a far greater risk of accidental black hole creation than the LHC. Via Cracked! I've just come across a very good example.
Facebook now has 300 million users. For a lot of those people, Facebook is the Internet, and they're happy to do all of their information shopping there. A great and terrifying illustration came when this blog mentioned Facebook logins in an update. When (presumably old) people Googled "Facebook Login," the blog showed up in their results, bombarding them with thousands of people saying "IS THIS FACEBOOK WHY DOES IT LOOK DIFFERENT HELP I JUST WANT TO LOG IN."
Oh dear God. Can there really be large numbers of people who can't tell the difference between two very different websites? From the 45 pages of comments it would appear that there can. It starts on Feb 10th at 9:12am with a lady by the name of Gladys who says
Ok If I have to I will comment,I love facebook so right now just want to log in if thats ok with you..lol Keep up the good work...
And within an hour progresses to
ok cool now can I get to facebook
and
The new facebook sucks> NOW LET ME IN.
and
I WANT THE OLD FAFEBOOK BACK THIS SHIT IS WACK!!!!!
and
please give me back the old facebook login this is crazy.................
and
EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY NOT JUST LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!1111
and
I just want to log in to Facebook - what with the red color and all? LOLLLOLOL!!!!!111
That last one is comment number 12. Not all of the remaining 188 are along the same lines - plenty are people trying to explain the devilishly tricky concept of 'not the same fucking website' - but if they're that daft how likely is it that they're going to stop trying to photosynthesise in front of the monitor long enough to read and understand the explanation? Despite a paragraph explaining that it's not Facebook and what to do to get to Facebook being added to the text of the blog post there are still Facebook addicted mongtards posting comments that they can't log in... "lololol!!!!111!!!" (I assume this is what happens when you have to type with hooves or something). Take post no. 199:
do i need to redo something in order get on facebook?

Posted by: Jessie | March 18, 2010 10:26 AM
Yes, Jessie. Unless you're joining in the piss taking I suggest you redo your whole fucking life. Or failing that just the bit where you failed to pay attention to comment no. 198 which fucking explained it to you almost entirely with words of one syllable (the three exceptions all being the word Facebook).

So faced with this incontrovertible evidence that there really are large numbers of people who'd starve to death on the wrong side of doors without someone to remind them how the handle works (a concept the dog and both cats have all grasped* incidentally) I have to admit that they might need looking after their whole lives after all. Now if someone can just explain why the fuck those of us who can get through life on our own should have to (a) put up with constant nannying from the state, (b) accept that this is because we are assumed to be only as bright as the most stupid person in the country, and (c) be forced to pay for notices to remind the other lot to keep breathing in and out, then I'll sign up to the idea of socialism.



* Unfortunately none of them can physically grasp the door knobs we have now.

8 comments:

  1. I probably wouldn't mind the state looking after the mongtards if they left us the fuck alone.
    Trouble is they would still expect us to pay for their nannying....

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  2. You've got the germ of a good idea floating around in there AE.
    What are our chances of convincing the politicians that we'll just play quietly on our own over here, you can play with that lot over there to your hearts content?

    Hmmmm. Perhaps we'd need to add 'Do it or we'll nuke you from orbit.'

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  3. made my day ta (ref from Leg_Iron)

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  4. And they wonder why people keep falling for phishing attacks and 419 emails. Oh well.

    I do try to convince people that the Disability Discrimination Act doesn't actually apply to idiots - you are allowed to deny people use of services because they are simply too stupid to use them properly or safely. It's probably just the foaming at the mouth that detracts from my credibility ...

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  5. Just read the readers comments in The Daily Mail and you will realise that people are too stupid to be allowed to comment. There should be a small IQ test before they can log in. We used to get 'Comprehension' at school. You read a passage from a book or article then you had to answer questions on the article to show that you understood it properly. Most people can read but a lot can't understand. That's why people keep falling for all the scams.

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  6. omg i just goolged facebook loggin and get this !?!?!? WHERES MY FACEBOOK LOGGIN PAGE U SPAZ!?!?!?!

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  7. @ microdave and Chuckles, hmm, that's given me a thought.

    @banned, it just fucking depressed me, but welcome anyway.

    @Surreptitious Evil, yeah. The only bright spot is that the 419 baiters have shown that many of the scammers are just as stupid.

    @comprehension, it's the Mainly Fail [shrugs].

    @fbgavin756, thanks, that's the first laugh I've had out of this.

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  8. Good link. I would say it's unbelievable, but I know how some users behave when faced with something unfamiliar on their computers. They panic, their brains shut down, and they can only cry "fix it for me!!!11!!"

    I hope I never end up like that... that I will always have enough sense to take initiative and figure things out for myself.

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