Not what Apple want us to think of as the iPad...

... but apparently it predates the launch of their latest gadget by a few years.



So it's hardly surprising that I wasn't the only one to think that iPad sounded jam rag related.

If that's not reason enough not to bother Constantly Furious raises some good objections:

There's a lot more screen to scratch, and a lot fewer places to put the fucking thing when it starts to rain, or when a mugger begins to eye your new 'must-have' toy.

While, of course, the iPad will change the way we .. err ... tap shiny things in exasperation, there are some things it can't do:

* it can't be read in the bath, like a paperback;
* it can't be whipped out of a pocket to jot a quick note, like a notepad;
* it can't be folded up and read in one hand on a crowded train, like a newspaper;
* it can't take quick pictures, like every other mobile phone made since 2007
* it can't be replaced for 50 pence when you leave it on a bus, like an exercise book;
* it can't be held to your ear so you can speak to a loved one, like a phone;

and, naturally,

* it can't help but make you look a total twat, the very first time you whip it out in a bar

On top of which if my Macbook is any guide using the damn thing on your lap for any amount of time will get your groin hot enough that no one will let you on an airplane for a week in case your pubes catch fire.

Put me down for two of 'em, I don't think.


UPDATE: TDM - had to happen.