A man who went to casualty with his penis stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder.Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Medics at Southampton General Hospital could not get the man's penis out of the stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become aroused.Oh, I didn't need to know that. That's it, my brain has just shut down.
Not for long.
The firefighters used the four-and-a-half-inch grinder to cut the pipe from around the man's penis and it took about 30 minutes.Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
The anxious man aged about 40 gave hospital staff no explanation about how the pipe got stuck after he turned up on Tuesday morning.Wait, what? Did they need someone to draw them a picture?
Actually I'm quite glad nobody did draw a picture in case they put it in with the article.
'Aroused'..? Did they mean 'engorged'?
ReplyDeleteBecause surely if not aroused in the first place, how'd he get it in the pipe?
Don't these people have English degrees? ;)
Because surely if not aroused in the first place, how'd he get it in the pipe?
ReplyDeleteMight explain more why than how. And if not then that wouldn't have stopped him getting it in but also should have meant no trouble getting it off agai.....
.... you know what? It is possible to over analyse things.
I've just spat coffee all over my keyboard!
ReplyDeleteStainless steel is bastard stuff to work with. And using a grinder on metal quickly heats it up...
ReplyDeleteAnd no, I didn't find that out trying to cut a bit of pipe off my knob....
Filthy Engineer, apologies. JuliaM's cost me more than one keyboard. :-)
ReplyDeletemicrodave, what are you saying, he should use a copper pipe next time? Actually that, er, raises another question: gentlemen, could you continue to stand to attention if someone was heading towards your joy department with a fucking angle grinder? I'd have thought just the sight of the thing starting up would have solved the problem in seconds unless...
... unless the guy enjoyed that too?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Copper conducts heat better than stainless, so he would get a nice "all over" warming sensation, instead of localised burning.
ReplyDeleteBut it would be much easier to cut copper off with a pair of tin snips.
These are purely observations, you understand.
Somehow I think I'm going to regret contributing to this thread.....
Somehow I think I'm going to regret contributing to this thread.....
ReplyDeleteYou think? If you don't regret it already there's something wrong. :-)
'Clunk click every trip, shove some grease on your dick'.
ReplyDeleteIf he'd remembered that wise old saying, then he would never have been caught in that embarrassing situation.
Right, I'm off to shag a park bench. Now where'd I put that WD40...