And he runs the fucking country in his spare time.

It's always deeply gratifying when people who've been democratically chosen (more or less) to run a country, and especially those who give the impression that to do it properly it's necessary virtually to micromanage the whole economy and the lives of everyone in it, find time out for their own unrelated pet projects.

A new children's book is set to be published next month, penned by an unlikely author - Australia's prime minister.

Titled Jasper and Abbey and the Great Australia Day Kerfuffle, Kevin Rudd's tale is based on the prime ministerial cat and dog and their adventure through the grounds of Kirribilli House.

You don't have fucking time for this shite, Kevin, there's too much to do. Australia has to suck all the extra carbon dioxide out of the air to halt warble gloaming and end the drought, and our troops have to defeat the Tally-hos, and there's the recession, and making the internet warm and safe and fluffy for everyone, and keeping nasty videogames out unless they remake them, and taxing everyone enough that you can find a spare $900 to give every fucking taxpayer when someone thinks we're in a recession, and all this other regulatory shit that you lot burden everybody with. If you can spare the time to come up with a fucking story book then as far as I'm concerned running the country can't be a full time job after all, and either a lot of that stuff would have taken care of itself or didn't fucking need doing in the first place.

As for the Sydney Morning fucking Herald...

Golden retriever Abby and black cat Jasper are not expected to receive royalties.

Thanks, fellas. We'd never have fucking worked that out for ourselves.

Cunts.