Your ride home, paid for by everyone.

I've never been to Norfolk, but I've heard the jokes. It's flat and stuck in a time warp, a place where they're still amazed by things like motorways and aircraft that fly without propellors, etc. etc. And I'm sure it's bollocks. At least, I was sure until I read this:

Drinkers in Watton, Norfolk, will be given taxis home at taxpayers' expense under a police scheme aimed at reducing late night street violence.
The plan has been drawn up by the Safer Neighbourhood Team in Watton as officers believe it could help cut crime and anti-social behaviour amongst people making their way home after nights out.
The town council has pledged £350 to help fund a three-month trial. Three separate runs are planned each weekend evening from the town centre to different housing estates in the town which has 6,500 residents.
Sgt Lance Ogbourne told councillors that free taxis would be provided to take some "stragglers" home on Friday and Saturday nights.
"This will remove many of the stragglers left over from the pub," he said. "This will remove many of the stragglers left over from the pub. These people would not normally take a taxi. They would normally walk. It is these people who are susceptible to incidents of crime and can cause criminal damage."

So maybe they really are backward in Norfolk after all, because alongside these modern ideas like yer new fangled motor-ways and yer jet airyplanes they still haven't developed the idea of self responsibility. For fuck's sake, just nick the cunts who cause problems and let the ret of them stagger, weave and roll home on their own, or pay for their own fucking taxis. Incidentally, is it just me or, if £350 is for three months of night rate taxi rides for every pisshead in the neighbourhood, are taxis really fucking cheap in Norfolk? I'll look into that if I remember and find the time over the next few days, because I reckon that anywhere i the UK, even in Norfolk, 350 quid won't even cover the valet costs for the first half dozen cunts to decorate the inside of a taxi with partially digested kebabs, peanuts and cheap lager. It'll probably get used up the first weekend on taxi driver 'shortcuts' anyway, and if I had to drive someone home who was that wankered I wouldn't blame them.