Audenshaw.

Since the not guilty verdict I've been meaning to return to this. Last time I just mentioned it was to say that (a) if the prosecution were to be believed Britain's much vaunted gun laws were as much use as usual, i.e. √fuck all, and (b) the two boys apparently hadn't got any guns anyway, which obviously affects whether we think the prosecution are to be believed in the first place. The jury took 45 minutes to decide on that, and let's be honest that's barely time for a second cuppa and to finish the last of the biscuit assortment. So I was going to blog on it but I can't top Newsarse:

Film-makers devastated as ‘Bowling for Audenshaw’ shelved indefinitely.

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Matthew Swift, 18, and Ross McKnight, 16, were found not guilty of conspiring to blow up Audenshaw High School after evidence showed they had no actual guns or explosives, or the means to acquire them.

The prosecution claimed they planned to shoot dead fellow pupils and teachers before turning the guns on themselves after reading of their ‘plans’ in notebooks.

“If you ignore all the ‘Man Utd is gay’ and ‘I really love Katy Watkins’ stuff - and all the GCSE revision in there - then those notebooks contained was some pretty damning cartoons and diagrams. Honest.”

However, the acquittal has caused aspiring political journalists with video cameras to howl in grief and reassess their career options.

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” ‘Bowling For Audenshaw’ was going to be my entree into the cut-throat world of documentary film-making,” said the overzealous celluloid predator, who cites Michael Moore’s ‘Bowling For Columbine’ documentary as a major creative influence.