Jacko.

What do I say? Bye Jacko, you baby-dangling, semi plastic, fucking freak show. Look, it's a bit sad and fifty is no age, but I didn't know the guy and I wasn't a fan. Yet I've a horrible feeling that the media is going into Diana mode and there'll be tributes ad nauseam for days. Why do we have to do this with celebs every time one carks it? Let their families and friends mourn them and let's the rest of us avoid the media driven pretence of grief that we seem to be expected to participate in. The guy was a good entertainer, if a bit of a nutter about the plastic surgery, and he died unreasonably young.

On a side note I give it until Sunday afternoon before I hear the first Jacko joke.

UPDATE: Not a joke but still amusing. Fans are gathering at the hospital and laying tributes on his Hollywood star - except it's not his star but that of a radio presenter called Michael Jackson. The baby-dangler's star is covered up at the moment by temporary structures for the Bruno premiere, though if the fans really felt that had to show their love for someone who they'd never met there's apparently nothing to stop them going to the star for The Jacksons. Alternatively, and this may seem a bit off the wall (see what I did there?) they could all fuck off and get lives. Meanwhile the TV companies have leapt on the bandwagon. First aboard here is Network Ten who've quickly rearranged their schedule for this. Do they get some sort of prize for being first with a tedious tribute program or what?


UPDATE: You can always rely on The Daily Mash.

MICHAEL Jackson, the King of Pop, shocked the world last night by dying in an incredibly ordinary way.
His millions of fans were stunned after the singer died of a very normal heart attack instead of electrocuting himself while re-enacting scenes from The Wizard of Oz with a cast of under-age giraffes.
The heart, Jackson's last original body part, was due to perform in London next month where it was expected to pump blood to a pair of new legs, a borrowed arm and the 14th version of the singer's face.
...
Uri Geller, Jackson's friend and now acting King of the Freaks, said: "I feel so desperately sorry for all the freaks today. He was their Diana, their Elvis, their Mother Theresa and their Jade Goody all rolled into one. Which is actually what he looked like too. Check out this spoon."
...
Meanwhile at Madame Tussauds wax museum, security guards are standing by to prevent visitors poking the Michael Jackson statue amid rumours the singer had finally found the perfect hiding place.