There's forgetful, and there's..... um, what was I saying?

Once again The Daily Mash have managed to pull off the apparently impossible. Elliot Morley's failure to notice that he the taxpayer had paid off his mortgage may have seemed beyond parody, but it turned out otherwise.

LABOUR MP Elliot Morley was last night confirmed as the first person in the history of the world to forget he had paid off his mortgage.

The former minister admitted he had completely forgotten to stop claiming taxpayers' money for the mortgage he had paid off before forgetting which of his two houses he actually lived in most of the time.

Mortgage slaves across Britain were stunned at the sheer scale of Mr Morley's forgetfulness.

...

Elliot Mortgage said last night: "Gosh, I am terribly forgetful aren't I? Perhaps I should eat more oily fish."

Perhaps you should cover yourself in oily fish and climb into the grizzly bear enclosure at the most convenient zoo, you worthless tub of shit. I'm sure Gordon has something less final in mind for you - perhaps he'll throw a phone at you or something.