Nanny's little helpers.

I want to smoke until my lungs fall out. I want to drink until my liver explodes. I want to eat fatty food until I'm almost spherical. I want to have loads of salt on it too. And then I want to take many, many drugs to blot out the thought of Alan bastard fucking Johnson and his public health mentors roaming Britain lecturing people.

Public health "mentors" will be enlisted by the NHS to offer 'on the spot' advice in their local neighbourhood when they see people smoking, eating or drinking too much.
The Government hopes that the volunteers will help to get across its messages on healthy living in a new and influential way but the plans have been criticised as evidence of the creeping 'nanny state'.
Speaking at the Royal Society of Arts yesterday , Alan Johnson, the Health Secretary, said mentors could be "amazingly successful" and that he hoped that they could revolutionise the nation's health.
The mentors, who as volunteers are not paid, are expected to work to influence the people around them, offering advice to workmates, family and friends about how they should change their unhealthy habits.

And it's no surprise that this bunch of joyless bastards are involved.

Martin Dockerell, from Action on Smoking and Health (ASH), the anti-smoking charity, said: "If you get the mentoring scheme right and if you manage to turn things around so it seems that healthy behaviour is not abnormal then that can be very powerful."

Point of order: anti-smoking charity? Or a bunch of busybodies funded largely by the government with taxpayers money? You know, when pricks like this start up I really want a cigarette. Partly to calm me down, partly to wind them up, and partly for having a handy hot object to grind into their eyes.

Look ASH, or can I just call you CASH? It's my body and I'll fucking decide what to do with it, and unless you want my body to decide to do something horrifc to your body I suggest you take it and it's wagging fingers somewhere else. Preferably the bottom of the ocean or another planet.

But back to the architect of this scheme:

Mr Johnson said that while employers could offer incentives to help people be more active "there will always be some people who will be immune to these opportunities, because they don't see exercise as something they do, or because the messages they get from their peers are more influential".
To improve people's health "we must also look at mentoring schemes ... where primary care trusts recruit people from disadvantaged communities to give health advice to local people setting goals on reducing smoking and increasing physical activity", he said.

Rar rar. Strength Through Joy!

Cunt.

But then there's this little gem:

"If the Government is seen to be hectoring it won't work."

Then what the fuck are you hectoring everybody for if you think it won't work?