The Angry Exile: The nanny state fucking drives me to drink

The Hangman

Into our town the Hangman came,
Smelling of gold and blood and flame.
And he paced our bricks with a diffident air,
And built his frame in the courthouse square.
The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door.
And we wondered, whenever we had the time,
Who the criminal, what the crime
That the Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.
And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead --
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raised the gallows-tree?"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope of the gallows-tree."
And he stepped down, and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land.
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief
And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke,
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town,
And stark and black in the morning air
Was the gallows-tree in the courthouse square.
And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business-like.
And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday, with the foreign one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."
He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."
Then one cried "Murder!" and one cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"
And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm!
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.
That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute,
The gallows-tree had taken root;
Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
The third he took -- we had all heard tell --
Was a usurer, and an infidel.
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"
And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."
The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched our comfort hard and long;
"And what concern," he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed -- the doomed and Black?"
The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the man?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow."
And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score.
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.
The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side;
And the monster cross-beam, looking down,
Cast its shadow across the town.
Then through the town the Hangman came,
Through the empty streets, and called my name --
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall,
And thought, "There is no one left at all
For hanging, and so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree."
So I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.
He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the hempen strand.
And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap,
And it sprang down with a ready snap --
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.
"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then,
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me, Hangman. Foully lied!"
Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true --
The scaffold was raised for none but you.
For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others who might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?"
"Dead," I whispered. And amiably
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the foreigner, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."
Beneath the beam that blocked the sky
None had stood so alone as I.
The Hangman noosed me, and no voice there
Cried "Stop!" for me in the empty square.

Maurice Ogden

Friday, 23 January 2009

The nanny state fucking drives me to drink

Millions are risking their health by having a glass or two of wine according to the Nanny State.

A comprehensive survey claims that middle aged, professional Britons are more likely to exceed recommended daily levels of alcohol consumption than the working-classes, with twice as many drinking every night of the week.
The Government-dictated safe limit is three to four units a day for men, or two to three for women.

The fucking what? The Government-dictated limit? So they've sent doctors and scientists around to everybody to work out exactly how much they can safely drink, and by the most monumental fucking coincidence it turns out that it's almost the same for everyone depending only on gender. Of course they fucking haven't. They just got a board of big nosed cunts with medical degrees to pull a number out of their collective arsehole* and present it to the government of the day, and which has been used as a tool to lecture people by every fucking government since. And now it's a fucking diktat? Fuck off.

By the sounds of it this latest study has got square root of fuck all medical content as it was actually carried out by the Office of national Statistics. It's a fairly safe bet that the statisticians involved are experts on numbers and statistics but pretty weak on medicine and the long term effects of alcohol on the human body, so it's probably also a safe bet that they simply took the "safe limits" as a given and went from there. Now if that's right then fair enough. But if it's wrong, if the limits are far wider than between 3 and 4 units a day for men and 2-3 for women, then the foundation on which the study is based is about as strong as the head on a pint of Guinness.

But really that's not the point of the exercise is it? Like cigarettes if the government really gave a shit about the health issues they'd just classify it alongside pot or another illegal drug, but whether left or right, Tory or Labour, they're always far more addicted to the revenue than the most irredeemable alcoholic is to grog (or any smoker to nicotine for that matter). It's just a fucking pretence of caring thinly covering up a desire to poke and pry into people's lives, and regulate and tax and regulate and tax and regulate and tax and.....

I don't want to understate the effects of long term alcohol abuse, and I've had a couple of family members drink themselves into early graves so I don't want to understate the effects it can have on other people either. It ain't nice and it's bloody upsetting to lose someone you care about deeply because they couldn't leave the bloody bottle alone. But you just can't tell people how to live their lives whether you're their family or a government mouthpiece. That particular cure is worse than the disease.

* I couldn't remember where I'd seen it before, but fortunately Devil's Kitchen rants on the same topic and had a link.