How thick do they think people are?

Now children, does anyone know what this is? Yes, it's toilet paper. So hands up who can tell me how to wipe their arses.

I reckon it's not beyond the realm of possibility that a teacher in the UK might end up asking a class (almost) exactly that in the not too distant future. After all North Staffs is wanking away about GBP 700,000 over the next five years on the assumption that parents there are utterly incapable of teaching their kids how to brush their teeth, so it's not too much of a stretch to think that the kids will all be sent to school with cacky drawers as well. I'm all in favour of schools teaching life skills as well as the regular academic stuff, and actually I think they don't do enough of it, but come on... how to use a toothbrush? It's not rocket science and could safely be left to the parents except on the odd occasion where a teacher might notice that a particular child hasn't been taught properly or at all. Then, and only then, the teacher could talk to the child about it, maybe involve the school nurse (if there are still school nurses - I don't know actually), and maybe show them how to brush their teeth in private so they don't get the piss ripped out of them by their classmates. However, I recognise that the problem with that is it's leaving it up to the initiative of individual teachers, which must surely go against government policy which appears to be to discourage any individual initiative in anyone and everyone. Plus even the slightest hint of extra curricular interest in a child is probably enough to get a teacher labelled as a paedo these days so in modern Britain I wouldn't be surprised if there would be no intervention until a child's teeth had actually turned blue and their breath was setting off the school smoke detectors.

Fuck's sake!